This post was going to be about a neglected little potty that spent its entire life collecting dust in the corner of the kitchen.  And one day, all of that changed.

I’m not sure what got into his head, but the Worm was so excited to use the potty last week, he almost peed himself.

Me:  “Worm, what are you doing?”

Worm:  “Me want to be nakie nakie!”

Me:  “Ok, let me take off your shirt and pajama pants.”

Worm:  “Nooooo! Nakie, nakie!”

Crap!  (Not literally.)  Maybe we can do this for a few minutes and when he’s distracted, I’ll put the diaper back on…

The lithe leprechaun became giddy, arms (and other appendages) flapping about as he hurdled the couch cushions and zipped through the air in unclothed hysteria.  I gave chase, holding a clean diaper and hoping to catch any pee or poo that could escape Worm’s little body should he laugh a wee (literally) too hard.  Ten minutes in, I was exhausted.  The only real solution was to break out the potty, pitch it to Worm like a used car salesman, and hope he would take to it like a duck to water.

Me:  “Worm, check this out!  This kiddie potty is so ergonomic, and aerodynamic I might add!  It’s the perfect blend of form and function!  Porcelain white plastic!  No-slip, high performance rubber feet to keep that potty planted, even during an earthquake!  I’m going to put it over here in the middle of the kitchen floor, so you can observe it from every angle!  If you want to take it for a test ride, just hop in right here and fill it up.  Go ahead, kick the proverbial tires!”

Worm:  “There’s no handle.”

Me:  “Well, it still works.  It’s an eco-friendly design that automatically senses pee and poo.  Then it flushes without water.”

Worm:  “DADDY!?”

Me:  “Ok, I have to empty the potty into the big toilet by hand.  But it’s still cool, right?  Plus, you’ll use the potty like Honeydaddy!”

Worm:  “Oooooh  Kaaaay!”

I could sell snow to an Eskimo.  Sort of…

Worm:  “It’s dirty.”

Me:  “Dude, the stuff you’re going to put inside will be much dirtier that those measly dust specks.”

The kid will pick up food off the sidewalk and eat it, but all of a sudden now he’s questioning the cleanliness of his kiddie toilet?

Toddlers and rational thought seldom collide.  I crossed my fingers that not a drop of his body fluids would fall on the floor…for the next 2 hours.

Worm ended up using the potty three times with no assistance or help from me!  He even brought the full potty to me to show me what he made!  (Gross, but at least he sink his hands into it and splash it around.)

All in all, it was a very good learning experience for both of us…well, mainly for me.  I didn’t pressure him to use the potty.  I gave him the choice to pee in the warm, safe, comfy, clean, lovely, free-lollipop-dispensing potty or pee in the cold, drab, spider-infested, boogie-man-lurking corner.  The choice was easy for him to make.

Too bad his desire left after the sun went down.

I’ll always remember this day, not because he was potty training himself, but because he rubbed his bare bum on my head twice when I wasn’t looking.  (I washed my hair about 10 times that night.  It still doesn’t feel clean.)  That whole day was more fun than I expected it to be (except for the bum-hair part).  We’re so close to getting him out of diapers, I can almost taste it!  Well, I can at least touch my hair and smell it…

Come On Worm! You Can Doooo Doooo it!