If you’re here, you’re probably wanting to learn about all things MVG.  So, to anticipate the onslaught of questions from the fanbase, I’ve made a list of what I think are going to be the most highly asked questions for MVG.

Q:  You are insane.  I can’t believe you’re exploiting your child like this.  What’s wrong with you?

A:  Well, I’m not clinically insane.  I’ve never been tested.  It’s ok to exploit the first kid…we’ve already written him off as an experiment in parenthood.  He’s going to be messed up anyhow.  We may as well profit from it.

Q:  Why are you doing this blog?

A:  In my life, most people have written me off as a jokester and never believe anything I say.  It’s time that I get people on the internet to feel the same way.

Q:  Why don’t you take childraising seriously? 

A:  When you see a grapefruit pushed through a keyhole, you can’t take anything seriously afterwards.

Q:  What type of equipment do you use?

A:  I’ve stolen my wife’s Canon EOS Rebel XTi for the still shots.  Lens is 18-55mm.  For videos, I use a Cisco Flip minoHD camera.  Occasionally, I’ll use my HTC ADR6300 phone for media.  I don’t even begin to know what I’m doing with any of this equipment.  Yes, I was an electrical engineer, but building and using are two different beasts.  As of February 1st, 2013, I will be slowly transitioning over to a Nikon D70.  Lens is Nikkor 18-70mm.  As of February 1st, 2013, I will also be slowly transitioning to a Sony XDR-CX260V.  So, bear with me…everything may get blurry for a while until I can figure out how to work my camera.  Do not adjust your eyes!

Q:  Where did you get your sense of humor from?

A:  From the comedy of my life BC (before child).  But, that’s another story…maybe even book material.

Q:  You write like a 5th grader.  Your punctuation sucks.  And you use too many parentheses.

A:  I was a C student in high school English because my teachers couldn’t take a laugh.  So, instead of studying Shakespeare, Cummings, and Steinbeck, I was studying Calvin & Hobbes, Dilbert, and Far Side.  And you didn’t ask a question.

Q:  Do you have superpowers?

A:  Well, I’m glad you asked.  Yes, I do.  I have the superpower to turn on and off street lights and break computers.  I just haven’t figured out how to control my superpowers and use it for the greater good, yet.

Q:  How does white paint and brown paint make white paint?

A:  How does eating white yogurt make brown poo?

Q:  Do you really think you can beat Gavin?

A:  Of course I do.  If I didn’t think I could crush his will, I wouldn’t write this blog.