Archives for the month of: August, 2014

Keep Drinking Green Juice Worm, and You’ll Get Those Bumpy Muscles You’ve Been Asking About!

Green juice is all the rave nowadays…well, with the health conscious crowd anyways.  I’ve been drinking my own personal twist on green juice for a couple years now and have perfected the recipe.  It’s chock full of vitamins, minerals, and calories.  Yes, calories.

I’m active.  I workout a lot.  It’s mainly because I need the strength and stamina to carry babies, bags, and dogs day in and day out.  And sometimes I need a quick way to consume calories because someone’s screaming, someone needs a diaper change, or someone’s trying to jump off the coffee table without a cape…or sometimes all three.

It was only a couple months ago that I said to myself “Self, wouldn’t it be awesome if Worm loved Green Juice as much as I do?”  So I tried it on him…and he drank all of it!  I gave some to Smushie too.  She loved it too!  (For her, it doesn’t mean as much since she eats anything within arm’s length.)  I figured I was on to something.

I could finally get my kids to eat kale, spinach, flax, chia, and more?!  And they could get easily absorbed nutrients and healthy fiber from real food instead of gummy vitamins?

Here is probably the finest green juice recipe for you and your children, especially those picky kids that could use the calories to grow, grow, grow!  Oh yeah, it’s dairy free for those with lactose intolerance.

You’ll need a blender and a coffee grinder.  Calories are in brackets.


  • 1 cup organic carrot juice   [70]
  • 2 cups organic unsweetened almond milk or almond/coconut milk   [80]
  • 1/2 cup organic oatmeal [75]
  • 1 large handful organic greens (kale, chard, spinach, mizuna) [20] (You can use your favorite greens!)
  • 1/2 Tbsp ground black sesame seed [10]
  • 1 Tbsp organic chia seed [60] (Put in coffee grinder with flax seed and grind until fine)
  • 1 Tbsp organic flax seed [45]
  • 1 cup Serious Mass weight gainer [600]
  • 1/2 organic apple [50] (Remove the seeds and core)
  • 1 medium organic banana [110]
  • 2 Tbsp organic hemp protein [60]  (I like the cocoa flavored one!)
  • 1 Tbsp organic unsweetened almond butter [90]
  • 1 Tbsp organic unsweetened peanut butter [100]
  • 1 Tbsp organic coconut oil [100]
  • 1/2 Tbsp organic molasses [30]
  • TOTAL CALORIES = [1500]


Put 8oz carrot juice and 16 oz milk in blender.  Add 1/2 cup oatmeal and huge handful of greens.  Blend on high for a minute.

Put 1/2 tablespoon of sesame seed and 1 tablespoon of chia seed, and 1 tablespoon of flax seed in coffee grinder and grind until fine.  I buy the whole seed because the natural oils don’t degrade as quickly as if you bought pre-ground stuff.  Add ground seeds to blender.

Add 1 cup weight gainer, if you so choose to.  Blend on high for a minute.  (For me and my skinny little son, the extra calories are awesome!)

Add 1/2 apple and banana.  Add 2 tablespoons of hemp protein.  Add 1 tablespoon each of almond butter and peanut butter.  Add 1/2 tablespoon of molasses to sweeten if you wish.  Blend everything on high for two minutes to get a nice thick frothy drink!

NOTES:  It must be kept in the refrigerator, preferably in a closed container!  The MVG Super Green Juice only lasts about 48 hours.  After that it starts to go bad…yes, that’s what happens to real food.  It goes bad quickly.  So drink up!

It’s not quite green in color, but its still pretty darn good!

It just oozes healthiness!  It's like Richard Simmons and Arnold Schwarzenegger in a cup!

It just oozes healthiness! It’s like Richard Simmons and Arnold Schwarzenegger in a cup!

I loved the round belly on my baby Smush (11)

It used to be bigger to match her plump tush. (11)

But then she stretched out, and so did her tummy.

Hugs became puny, not nearly so yummy.

One thing had remained, though.  Her huge appetite

Still flourished and shined like a beacon of light.


The question I ask “Would it be fair for me

To stuff those sweet cheeks and grow back that belly?”

I gave her a burger today with some fries,

Believing the meal was too great for her size.

She hoisted the burger with one hand, then two.

I pitied the cow when I heard it go “Moo!”


“Calories!”, the reply, of the question “What

Could recapture my glee when tickling her gut?”

Bring burgers and fries, with some hotdogs and cheese

‘Til my Mushie’s a Meatball again!  Oh, please!


Am I nuts for wanting to squeeze baby pudge,

Before Smush grows up and gets lanky?  Don’t judge

Me for relishing and savoring this time.

She’ll mature so quickly, then show me that I’m

a silly old man holding on to memories.


Usually one would make that face after the first bite, not the fifth one!

Usually one would make that face after the first bite, not the fifth one!





and the littlest one hasn’t quite bought into it.  Two months ago, our vivacious, athletic Smushie (with an impressive resumé of sports such as Slap Face, Dirty Diaper Sprinting, and Who Can Give the Meanest Stink Eye) performed countless hours of community service in the form of play vacuuming, Swiffering, and couch cushion fluffing, to try and lock in a spot at the nearby daycare.  Even with a 0.0 GPA, her physical pursuits capture the eyes of school administration and they had to have her.  A full ride scholarship was out of the question due to Smushie’s off-campus antics, but the school did offer us a multiple child discount for enrolling her!

This is the Closest I Could Get Them to Stand & Pose For a Picture...

This is the Closest I Could Get Them to Stand & Pose For a Picture…

Worm was going twice a week to daycare for half days until the spot opened up for the Mush Monster.  Steph and I had decided that once they both were in school, that they would stay there for the entire day, allowing the children time away from me to grow and prosper in ways that I just couldn’t provide.  (Translation:  I would get some free time to recover from the insanity of child rearing.)  We consulted Smush for acknowledgement or opposition to our plan and her response was to cram a handful of strawberries into her mouth.  We took that as an OK.

Smushie is still adjusting to life as a pre-pre-preschooler.  It’s been three weeks now.  (I know, I’m slow at keeping up with my blog!)  She has her good days and her bad days.  She wants to be held by the teachers often, which is out-of-character because at home, the Meatball is all over the place, not shy about anything, and slaps us if we try to hold her.

I’ve got mixed feelings about keeping her in school twice a week, but everyone I’ve talked to has insisted that the emotional scars of daycare will only last a few decades.  Worm was 2.5 years old when we put him in daycare.  Smushie is 1.5, a full year younger.  Is she too young to be away from me?  Should she only be at school for half days?  Does she feel abandoned?  Is she going to hate and resent me for this?

The deeper personal conflict is that I feel guilty for rushing her into daycare so soon.  But after 3 years of stay at home parenting, I need a break.  I’m burned out.  I’ve been noticing that activities with the kids in the past months have felt more like work than like fun.  Not all of them, but definitely more than I’d like.  And that’s no bueno.  I can’t give the kids 100% of myself right now and my performance is lackluster.  I don’t want them to think I don’t care, but I also don’t want to neglect my own needs, much of which I’ve been struggling to meet.  So this daycare thing is as much about me and my personal growth as it is about Mushie and hers.  I give myself a C+ in parenting 101 and have been for months.  I can only hope that this situation will improve as Mushie and I try to improve our lot…otherwise, we may both go crazy!

This is the First Day of Daycare Together! Someone's Weak in the Knees, Either From Fear or Excitement!

This is Their First Day Heading off to Daycare Together! Someone’s Weak in the Knees…Either From Fear or Excitement!

After rereading this blog, I must say that I have to give the Worm a point for this.  In the past 3 weeks, he’s been uber-helpful and has stepped up to the plate as a big brother to help Mushie get adjusted. 

Gavin – 33; Honeydaddy – 20 (I love you, boy! And I know Mushie loves you too!)

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