For those that need deeper insight into my abridged mental dictionary, here you go:


BB – before baby.  You know, when time was plentiful and life was easy and the house was clean.

Daddyblog – A virtual place to vent the frustration, suffering and thankless job of fatherhood.  Also a place where others can heckle and scoff at your tomfoolery.

Dylanobscuro Effect – The darkening in pigmentation of the areolas of babies.  This effect typically happens in the 8-11 month age range and can continue coloration through the first year of baby’s life.  Read the blog post here.

Eleanor – The love of my life, my Toyota Land Cruiser FJ60.  Rebuilt from the ground up by none other than me.  My first vehicle restoration project.  She’s a Japanese girl with an American heart.

Gayness – Also called “the gayness”.  A contagious, systemic disease that makes people homosexual.  It’s been thought (by the uneducated) to be transmitted through close proximity to gay people, places, things, and ideas.  Boys wearing pink or playing with dolls can result in catching “the gayness”.  Girls wearing flannel or riding motorcycles can result in catching “the gayness”.  There is no known protection from contraction of the disease and “the gayness” stays inside its host for life.  Read the blog post here.

Hogies Croches – plural for hogie croch. This is a slang term for penis.  A hogie is a long, torpedo-shaped sandwich.  Do I really need to define croch for you?  For example, when you point to your hogie croch, you would be pointing to your genitals.  Hogies Croches is an anagram of the words “Chicago’s Heroes”, found in a 15-year old’s artwork as a reference to gang members being primarily male.  Read the blog post here.

SAHD – Acronym for Stay-At-Home-And-Cook-And-Clean-And-Bring-Me-My-Slippers-When-I-Get-Off-Work-Dad

Tebow – an alternative word for God or Jesus.  Tim Tebow, a professional football player and more importantly, ex-Florida Gator, is the new updated version of Jesus for the millenium.  Everything needs a makeover, including religion.  This guy’s got the goods to part the Red Sea.

Testeronically – an adverb meaning full or overflowing with testosterone.  (Eg.) Women are testeronically challenged before menopause.  After menopause, the testosterone levels increase and they are rewarded with a fe-mustache or a fe-beard.  Read usage of testeronically in context here.

Veggie Wedgie – A vegetable medley that has passed through the alimentary canal to exit the body in one large piece.  This piece is pressure and heat treated to conform to the curvature of the buttocks in a wedge-like shape.  NOTE:  This is not food anymore.  Do not try to eat.

Worm – nickname for Gavin.  Steph, my parents, and inlaws don’t approve.  I just figure if I keep using it in this blog, it will eventually stick.