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What’s Wrong With the Apples? They’re So Small!

September 18, 2012 //
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…Slackjawed that these naive ladies had probably never seen unadulterated food in their lives, I couldn’t even manage a sarcastic response.  I muttered “It’s because the apples are real.  They’re not genetically modified like the bland softball-sized ones you see in the supermarket.”

“Oh!” before a bushel of giggles filled the fresh air.  They scampered away and disappeared into the orchard.

So the 2012 apple season in Julian, California has begun.  And it’s bringing all of the urbanites out of the concrete jungle.  Only about an hour or so outside of San Diego, Julian is a cozy little mountain town nestled in the Cuyamaca range.  It is a nice little getaway from the hustle of city life, especially in the fall.

There are some 10 apple orchards (about 5 are the u-pick style) in and around Julian.  We picked (get it, “picked”?) the Raven Hill Orchard (RHO) because of an article I saw on a San Diego Travels webpage here.  I read about Patrick Brady, orchard owner as well as sculpturist.  My  curiosity piqued at the article’s phrase “quite a character to behold”, and believing that artists infuse passion and joy into life, I figured his orchard would exhibit the same sentiment.  I love fascinating places and intriguing people, but memorable moments happen when both coincide.  I couldn’t wait to see what our first visit to an apple orchard would bring.

We arrive at the front gate at 10am.  Greeted by a sign bearing the politically correct translation of “Use your head for something other than a hat rack.  If you couldn’t tell, you’re not in your comfy, cozy padded cell where you can hurt nothing more than your own feelings.  It’s the outdoors.  Everything here is 3-dimensional and may bite.”, we enter.

How dangerous can picking apples be? Newton discovered gravity in a place like this…

Inside we see the man, the myth, the keeper of the apples, Patrick Brady.  Donning a black leather hat, camo pants, and a lion’s mane of hair, he waves us in.  All I can say is, if there is a ‘most interesting man in Julian’, we just found him.

“Health starts here!” as he points to the ground in front of us.

At $10 a bag, it’s definitely cheaper than a visit to the pharmacy.  With a smile, Steph asks for 3 bags of health.  That’s one bag for each of us!  (I don’t think Worm can eat a whole bag of apples by himself.  But since he is not typically known to share, I’ll probably snake an apple or two from his bag every day.  It’s not like he can count either!)

We wander down the gaps between the trees, stopping to inspect the apples and take in the warm breeze of the morning.

Steph, being the apple connoisseur, showed Worm and I how to pick the apples. Women just know these things!  It’s built into their DNA!  (She didn’t believe killing the apples with our bow and arrows set was necessary.)

Guys, be gentle. Ripe apples will easily detach from the tree. Don’t take the part with the leaves!

Pretty soon, Worm and I got into the spirit and gently plucked a few ripe ones for our respective stashes.  Since I have the luxury of being tall (extremely tall for Southern California), I was able to get to the apples that lesser mortals couldn’t reach.  Lucky for us, the orchard was chock full of fruit for everyone.  In fact, our whole family filled up our bags before we made it to some of the other apple varieties.  (The Raven Hill Orchard grows 7 apple types:  Empire, Fuji, Gala, Golden Delicious, Gravenstein, Jonathan, and Pippin)  Although the picking season runs from September to late October, it’s best to go before the apples have been totally picked through.  Otherwise, you’ll be doing your apple picking at one of the local markets.

It’s a Good Thing We Are Tall, Huh Dad?

After a nice half hour among the fruit trees, we head back to the entrance to pay for our apples.  We get a chance to talk a little bit with Patrick, the owner.  He’s definitely a straight-shooting, no-frills type of guy.  A gently forceful and honest type that will look you directly in the eyes when he speaks.  We chat on different topics centered around health in America, etc.  An hour later, his lovely wife comes down for a visit and we get to meet his 3 month old twin babies.  The entire day was enjoyable, interesting, and wonderful.  After a visit to downtown Julian for some pie and cider, I can’t say that we could have had a more perfect day.

Hanging Out With Patrick at Raven Hill Orchard

Support local farmers and growers!

Related Links:

Raven Hill Orchard Facebook Page

Picking Apples Raven Hill Orchard

Patrick Brady – Man of All Seasons

Julian, California Webpage

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Crawling is Still Lip Smacking Good!

July 26, 2012 //
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I’m glad that we’re transitioning from crawling to walking.  I know I’ve heard that benefits of crawling include cross-brain coordination via the corpus callosum blah, blah, blah.  We’ve done enough of that.  (We can’t allow him to be too intelligent.  He’ll get made fun of at school.  Besides, I need to keep the upper hand.)  In fact, we’ve done so much crawling that now Worm’s body is faster than his brain!

The other day I saw Worm galloping his way across the kitchen floor with smoke spewing out of his ears from brain overload.  All of a sudden, limbs were flying every which way and “THUD!”.  Worm’s lips had kissed the floor…a little too passionately.

His upper lip started bleeding and swelling up, so we did what any parent would do in a situation like this.  We gave Worm a bath.  (Ok, it was to cool his little brain down from overheating.  Jeez, so we didn’t know what to do and bathing him was the first thing that came to mind!  Stop judging us!  We’re new at this!)

I know what could remedy this situation!

And of course, the miracle medicine that fixes all health problems….warm and fresh from the tap…bath water!

Drinking bath water heals cancer, raises the dead, and reduces swollen lips from disaster!

The USDA recommends 8-12oz of bath water daily for clear, healthy skin!

Worm, is this a sign that you should spend more time upright?  Your lips are so luscious now!  Very Angelina Jolie-esque!  I hope you didn’t knock too many brain cells loose.

A Few Crawling and Brain Development Articles:

http://www.ehow.com/about_6694635_brain-development-babies-longer-walk.html

http://www.bumptobean.com/crawling-and-brain-development/

http://www.wholenesshealing.com/when-to-use-therapy/infants-a-toddlers/brain-development/corpus-callosum

http://www.hoofbeats.us/cross-hemispheric-intergration/

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These Feet Were Made For Walking!

July 23, 2012 //
1

On Saturday, Worm was feeling frisky enough to get up and dance a little two-step.  For 10 minutes straight, he worked on shakin’ his stems.  (It would have made Elvis proud.)  The sheer enjoyment on his face was priceless.  Not wanting to ruin the moment but wanting to capture it at the same time, I had a dialogue with myself.  “Should I jump up and grab my video camera now?  But, what if I distract him and we lose the moment?  Well, if I’m focused on trying to capture the moment, does that mean that I’m not really in the moment of watching Worm take some huge first steps?”  Faster than a sailor on a 4-hour shore pass, I wrassled my camera off the table and got er’ dun’ (Are the apostrophes even in the right place?)  Yee Hah!  I got it on film!  Now you can see Worm wobblin’ around like a mouthful of loose teeth!

Steph and I are happy to see the Worm evolve from four legs to two.  Soon, Worm won’t need to drag his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches across the carpet when changing dining locations.  I used to think our crawlin’ young’un was busier than a one-legged man at an ass kickin’ contest, but on two feet he’s going to be all over the place like greased lightnin’.  Our life is about to get nuttier than a porta-potty at a peanut festival.

For some of you, it will seem like the longest 75 seconds of your life.  But I promise, it’s better than bein’ poked in da’ eye with a sharp stick…Enjoy!

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Guess Who Was The First Person To See Worm Walk Today?

July 12, 2012 //
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The Worm took his first steps today at 7:45pm.  But, my mom saw Worm walk hours before.  He walked in her dream last night.

I’ll be the first to tell you that my mom is as intuitive as they come.  We always joke about how she reads minds…and we both know there’s a lot of truth to that.

Here’s part of an email that she sent to me this morning at 7:16:

I had a dream last night that my Honey Bun took 4 steps, fell, then 5, fell, and after continued walking.  Maybe, today is the day he puts his foot forward : )

And this evening Worm took 4 very shaky first steps and sat down.  It was a pretty awesome moment!  Thanks for preparing us, mom!

I’d better charge my camcorder.  Tomorrow may be a good day to capture some baby bipedal activity.

 

Yay, I Took My First Steps Today!

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Are We Raising a Monkey or a Human?

June 5, 2012 //
1

I said yes to a jungle themed baby room.  I said yes to stuffed monkey toys.  I even said yes to a monkey-themed birthday party complete with a monkey-shaped birthday cake (even though I argued strongly for a worm-shaped one).  But a monkey for a baby?  I didn’t agree to that.

With all the primate-related gear in his room, it’s no wonder Worm feels that he is 100% baboon.  He talks gibberish to his poly-stuffed brethren every day.  They hang out in his room.  (Get it?  Hang out?  Because monkeys ha…never mind.)  In the mornings, he greets his hairy cousins with a secret opposable-thumbs handshake.  Worm doesn’t yet understand why their tail is on the back and his is in the front.  (Though he’ll figure it out after he wraps it around a tree and hangs from it.)

As most monkeys do, Worm does too.  Hunched over, his knuckles and knees smack the floor at lightning speed.  He can cover the house end to end in less than 10 seconds.  Worm has recently passed the 14-month old mark and there’s hardly a desire for him to stand up, unless it’s to grab something up high (like a banana or swing from a drawer handle, which seems to come all too naturally).  I’ve also witnessed him climb up the furniture with uncanny deftness.  For a toddler that can barely balance on two feet, he defies gravity when attached to a vertical surface.  He climbs on the crib, the coffee table, the high chair, the bookshelf, the bed, and the couch!  Crawling-standing-walking-running has shifted to crawling-standing-climbing-swinging.  And Worm has no problem with this evolutionary deviation.

To give you an idea of Worm’s climbing prowess, we’ve placed a couch in front of him.  (I would have let Worm climb a tree in the back yard, but then Steph would beat me senseless once she got home from work.)

I Need To Conquer This Couch!

I Can Do This All Day Long…

Wanna See My Swirl Move?

Victory is Mine!

 

5 Clues To Why Worm Could Be A Monkey:

  1. He squawks and screams to communicate.  You have probably heard the short, ear-piercing shrieks and sound bursts that monkeys make.  Worm’s cacophony of noises are identical!  I can’t quite decipher and understand the many sounds because I’m not a primate, but once some prepubescent teenager creates the first monkey-english language app for the iPhone, he’ll be rich and I’ll be…well, kicking myself for giving away such a brilliant idea.
  2. He has interestingly placed body hair.  The fuzz on his forehead, back, and ears was cute at first.  But the fact that neither Steph nor I are hairy leads us to presume there is more ape than man in our son.  The “Ah ha!” moment will come when Worm’s hairline grows into his eyebrows.
  3. He destroys objects in fits of rage.  Monkeys are notorious for doing things like this.  They just flip a mental switch and chaos ensues.  Worm has that crazy button.  Since this blog is PG, my publicist won’t allow the carnage to be shown.  It’s bad for PR.
  4. He has a strange affection for Curious George.  His eyes light up every time he sees George’s face on the TV.  Worm even seems to understand George’s monkey sounds and gestures.  Very strange indeed.
  5. He loves bananas!  Every monkey goes bananas for bananas and Worm is no exception.  You should see what happens when I put whipped cream on the bananas…

I want Worm to grow up into a functional, kind, and caring adult, even if he has to beat his chest and swing from trees to do it.  There’s a little part of me that would love for him to grow up and be a man, just like his daddy.  But the other part of me wants him to shoot for the stars and become ‘Ape-Man’ for the Greatest Show on Earth!

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Homemade Play Dough Time!

May 24, 2012 //
0

I’m More Like Michaelangelo From the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…

I think Worm is getting tired of his toys.  We rotate them, but he may have already caught on to our evil toy recycling scheme.  We’re going to try something new.  Worm currently plays with plastic toys that are pre-designed, pre-made and pre-packaged.  Logically, the next creative step for Worm’s brain is to make something out of nothing.  To offer a truly plastic experience for him, I decided to make some good old-fashioned natural play dough!  This way, he can mold something out of the depths of his little mind…mu hu ha ha ha!

So a Train Conductor and Play Dough Walk Into a Bar…

I found a great recipe for play dough online at Skip To My Lou.  It takes only 15 minutes to make.  If you are married to a chef like I am, you may already have these ingredients in your kitchen.  Otherwise, find all this stuff in the cooking aisle of your supermarket:

  • 1 cup flour
  • 1 cup warm water
  • 2 tsp cream of tartar  (It’s not the same as tartar sauce.  Trust me on this!)  Substitute 2 tsp of lemon juice or vinegar if you don’t have cream of tartar!
  • 1/4 cup salt
  • 1 tsp oil
  • Food coloring

Mix everything together except the food coloring!  Toss it into a small pot.  The consistency should be like thick coughed up phlegm.

Turn stove heat to medium.  Stir continuously.  (Come on, use a little muscle!  Work up a sweat!)  The mixture should start turning sticky on the bottom of the pot.  It will continue to get more and more clumpy.  (This is the magic of cream of tartar.  Tartar sauce will not do this, although it will add more flavor.)

You can stop stirring when you’ve got a huge lump of dough.  It should now look like caucasian Play-doh of Germanic descent.  (I’m trying to be politically correct here.)

Turn off heat.  Let the play dough cool.

Grab the play dough and feel the consistency.  If it falls apart too easily, add a few drops of oil and massage it into the dough.  (If you massage too roughly, the dough may wince in pain.)

Now you’ve got a hunk of dough the size of a genetically modified naval orange.

You’ve got a few choices here.  You can be uber-creative and break up the play dough into pieces and add different food colorings.  Or you could be a lazy good-for-nothing parent and give your child the dough as is.

Today, I opted to be the minimum requirements parent.  One that does just enough to still be called a ‘Dad’.  I added 30 drops of blue liquid food coloring to the dough ball before me and called it a day.

Can I Feed Some To The Puppies?

And yes, you can eat it.  It won’t kill you…in small doses.

Store it in an airtight container.  If there’s hair growing out of it, throw it away.

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Take Me Out To My First Ballgame!

May 21, 2012 //
3

It’s sushi and tacos and Cracker Jack!

It’s a San Diego Thing…

It’s baseball season and the San Diego Padres are our home team (until some businessman buys them and moves them to Hawaii).  I must admit, I’m not a huge baseball fan.  I don’t watch it on TV.  I don’t have a fantasy team.  I don’t even understand half of it.

But, that doesn’t stop me from going to a game or two during the season.   Especially when we get free tickets!  Petco Park is a great place for families, kids, and kids with families.  It’s a fairly new venue and dare I say that the Park is classy for a baseball stadium.  You can get the standard stadium fare (beer, pretzels, peanuts, cotton candy, slushees, etc.) and you can get gourmet fare (local brewed beer, shrimp burritos, fish tacos, sushi).  There’s even a gluten-free stand for those that wish to partake!  Plenty of food to choose from for your picky little eater!

Also, there’s a little field at the back of the stadium called “Park at the Park” with a kid’s sized infield and lots of space to picnic and just hang out.  It’s geared for families with kids that can’t sit still long enough to watch an entire baseball game.  Parents can set their kids loose in the 2.7 acre space and then kick back and watch the game on the big screen.  Just bring a lawn chair.  There’s enough space (about 2.7acres) in “Park at the Park” for the young’uns to run bases and wear themselves out.  These tickets are $5 each and if you’ve got a toddler like I do, he’ll probably like this much more than being confined to one seat for 3 hours.

Worm enjoyed his first visit to Petco Park.  It was a warm, sunny San Diego afternoon.  I think the immense size of the stadium structure with all the people amazed him.  He even let out a few drops of saliva on my leg in his excitement.

Worm ate nachos!  Worm ate burritos!  Worm I drank beer!  Some nice Padre girls even came over to make sure Worm was happy!  He even finagled some free schwag from them!  (Is ‘free schwag’ like saying ‘space meteor’?)  A fun time was had by all, for almost an hour.  Luckily, it was a short game.

Worm, You Gotta Look at the Camera!

If you’re looking for Padres information:

Padres Home Page

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