Pampers Soft Care Wipes

Pampers diapers are pretty nice.  There have a lot of neat technology in them and they’ve been around long enough to have proven themselves.  So when we got a free package of Pampers Soft Care Wipes along with our large box of Pampers diapers, I thought we’d hit the jackpot.  (Yes, my life has sunk this low…)

I’m sad to say that these are the worst wipes I have ever used.  For instance, when I try to pull one wipe out of the package, about 5 of them come out instead.  I’m a one-handed wipe puller.  Why?  I usually have the other hand keeping the baby from squirming off of the changing table.  If the dispenser gives me trouble, that’s an automatic FAIL for a wipes container.  I can understand 2 wipes accidentally coming out, but when I’m spending my post-diaper change time stuffing a handful of Soft Care Wipes back into the package, I’m not a happy daddy.

After I get my wipe out, I try to clean up the Worm’s bottom.  Since he eats solid foods, he has solid poop…sometimes with chunks.  The Pampers wipe is so “soft” that it just glides right over the poop pieces.  Over and over again.  I know this is graphic, but you would think that a good wipe design would provide some traction for “stuff” to stick to it.  This wipe is ridiculously slimy and barely picks up anything off of Worm’s skin.  Big problem.  I like to make one or two passes and get the majority of poop off of the baby’s skin.  The less I am in contact with the toxic excrement, the better.  I’ve even had the occasional “Whoops, my hand slipped off the wipe and I almost touched poopie with my fingers!” scare.  When I can hang on to the thing, using the Soft Care wipe makes me feel like I’m doing nothing more than buffing poop into the Worm’s skin.

Lastly, I try to use the wipe on the other end of the Worm, his face.  (Of course I use a clean wipe.  Not the same dirty one!)  At 18 months of age, kids are probably still smearing crap (most of the time it’s the food type of crap) all over their little faces.  I probably wipe Worm’s face about three times a day.  As I said before, the wipes are horrible at actually taking particles off of the skin.  These wipes are so bad that after a few passes with the wipe, little threads of the fabric start floating off.  The wipe falls apart because it’s too da#n soft!  It wouldn’t be a good thing for Worm to accidentally breath one into his nose and get trapped.  Every time these little flyaways have happened, all I could think was “What if he inhaled it?”  I don’t need another thing to worry about.  Trying to figure out who is going to win this season of “So You Think You Can Dance” is enough.

I have a baby coming in January who could probably benefit from a nice soft wipe.  Will I use the Pampers Soft Care Wipes on her?  No way.  It’s horrible.

I even checked out the Pampers website to find the MSRP on these.  Nope.  They weren’t even listed.   Hmm…I wonder why?

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Overall Rating:  1 Worm

Ease of Use: 1 Worm

Performance:  1 Worm

Features:  5 Worms (Too bad none of the features are useful for the wipes’ intended purpose.)

Durability:  1 Worm

Manliness:  1 Worm

Retail Price:  $?

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Pros:

Alcohol free.  Has lotion, natural aloe, and vitamin E.  Hypoallergenic.

Cons:

Why would you want to put lotion, natural aloe and vitamin E in a wipe?  I’m not trying to moisturize poop.  Besides, they slip off of my hands when I’m wiping!

Things I would modify:

I would just trash this product and design another one.  There’s just way too many issues.

Where to find:

I have a feeling they are on clearance everywhere.  They’re not worth the money, even on double coupon day.