This Pretty Much Defines Our Halloween 2012…

I’m a horrible parent.  Luckily, Worm isn’t going to remember this awful Halloween of 2012.  Childhood amnesia will work to my advantage for the rest of the holiday season…and no I haven’t dropped him on his head…yet.

If you remember, a couple of weeks ago we went Punkin’ Huntin’‘.  We picked up 4 glorious specimens of the cucurbita family (for me, Steph, Worm, and grandma who is visiting), mine bearing the fittingly beautiful name, Pepita.  Remember?

In all our eagerness, we carved out faces on our pumpkins, with grandma leaving hers uncut to exude the purity that Mother Earth intended for it.  Then we carried the pumpkins out on the porch for the entire world (here world = neighborhood) to set eyes upon.  And for a few days, passersby would gasp in the awe that glimmered just outside our home.

We thought that Pepita and her patch mates would stand the test of time, or at least until the end of October.  Sadly, this wasn’t the case.  I try to pass blame on the abnormal weather we had…90 degree temps, then rain, and 90 degree days again.  Blaming nature makes me feel good for a short while.  Then the guilt sets in and deep down I admit I didn’t have the emotional strength to resist the immediate life-affirming gratification of pumpkin carving.  I was weak.  Next year, I will try to be stronger…who am I kidding?  I will do what any red-blooded human would do, which is cut my pumpkin when I WANT TO and then bend the laws of nature in my favor.

Below are a few tips that I learned after the mold and bacteria began to devour my sweet Pepita and her cousins 10 days before Halloween.  Hopefully, I’ve told you after your pumpkin suffered the same fate.  Just kidding.

  1. After carving your pumpkin, spray inside with a mild bleach solution (1 part bleach to 10 parts water).  Dry with paper towels.
  2. Take petroleum jelly (Vaseline if you want to go name brand) and put a thin coat on the inside of the pumpkin where you carved.
  3. Use those electronic candles instead of the tea lights that use a live flame.
  4. Stun your family and friends as you watch your pumpkin last through the New Year.

As if the pumpkin fiasco wasn’t enough, it gets worse.  Worm doesn’t even have a costume, yet.  October 31st started almost 13 hours ago and we’ve got nothing…unless we try to squeeze him into his 6 month old bunny rabbit outfit from last year (which is a possibility considering we have some extra Vaseline lying around….)

As I write this, Steph is at Babies R’ Us sifting through the broken, unwanted scraps of the Halloween costumes.  I’m sure that the only ones left are a 6 and 1/2 legged spider and a toilet.  Yes, toilet costumes exist and it can get worse, if you really want to see.

Pretty Pepita and the Uglies

Can we save Halloween 2012?  Possibly.  If we dress Worm up in something cute (Oh Steph, I hope you didn’t get the toilet costume…),  we may be able to milk the neighbors for all the candy they’ve got!  And for me, that’s a win.