Jookiedaddy, I can't tell if you're smiling...

Jookiedaddy, I can’t tell if you’re smiling…

We’re closing in on another Halloween. I can’t wait! It’s my favorite time of year and I love it even more than National Cherry Turnover Day, which is saying quite a lot!

We will follow some of the usual rituals, such as feeding high fructose corn syrup to everything under 5 feet tall, laughing at things that resemble the undead, pretending we like our neighbors, and concerning ourselves with how many ways to cook/eat a big orange pepo.

Since we’re not usually over at the grandparents’ around All Hallows Evening, we have to entertain ourselves. One part of entertaining involves creating family traditions. (Oh, the pressure to make memories!) Steph ruled out sacrificing baby lambs, so I had to think of something else.

I want to say that this custom was one that my great, great, great, grandpappy started in the 1800’s before he sold himself into indentured servantry and hopped onto a boat headed for the New World. But, it’s not. We started it last year once the stores began shelving Halloween supplies. The Worm had an eerie affinity to dead, scary things. (I hope it’s a phase…I hope, I hope.) Any decoration resembling bloody, gory death and dismemberment made him shriek with delight.  (Maybe he wants to be a doctor…yeah, that’s it.)

So we bought some plastic skulls. And we set them up in the house, one on the dining room table and the other in the living room. They were part of the Halloween decor, so I thought nothing of them. Every other day, Worm would go and touch (more like pet) the skulls. Worm was so intrigued by them that I asked him to name one of the skulls.

Jookiedaddy was born. (It’s hard to get a straight answer from a 3-year-old, so I didn’t ask why. I just went with it…)

That turned into a great opportunity to teach my children about ‘big brother’ and how the government watches every move we make, especially the bad ones. The best way to teach any child a lesson is to make up a story about how they will perish if they don’t follow the rules. And at this age, they will believe just about anything!

Jookiedaddy observes child behavior. He watches them in the daytime from the best spot in the house. He doesn’t move when everyone is awake. So, an adult or child has to put him in a place where he can watch much of the play activity. Unlike some silly elf, anyone can touch him and he won’t lose his magical powers. Jookiedaddy is the real deal.

He takes mental notes (Since he’s a head, he still has a brain…sort of) of all the good and bad things that little ones do. Then, at night, Jookiedaddy flies through the air (using his legitimate magical powers) and kisses the children while they sleep. (So they’re more like toothy nibbles. Jookiedaddy does what he can with what he’s got, ok?) Plus, he whispers into their ears all the good things that each child did that day.

The real charm for the rugrats is that this bodyless marvel generates treats whenever the kid does something sweet or nice for their sibling(s) or parent(s). The treats magically appear in Jookiedaddy’s head, of course!  (NOTE: The parent has to put the treats into the skull when the child isn’t looking. It isn’t really magical. Not for $24.95 anyhow…)

Then, the parent tells the child to see if Jookiedaddy thought they did something good. The child can walk over to Jookiedaddy and shake his head. When they find a treat inside, the child can rejoice and revel in the moral idea that GOOD DEEDS DON’T GO UNNOTICED! (Then, parents can watch their child fight over the candy with their siblings and see how quickly they forget the moral.)

Anyhow, it’s been such a hit with our kids that Jookiedaddy lives in our living room year round! We stuff miniature chocolates into Jookiedaddy’s head at random times (but not before bedtime!) and when we think the kids have done right, we have them check the head.

Now that you’ve got your next holiday tradition, please send me $24.95 and I will mail you a plastic authentic replica of Jookiedaddy for you to train your children with build lasting memories with!

Here’s a little song that I wrote for you to sing with your precious little ones:
Rubber Ducky Jookiedaddy, you’re the one!
You make bathtime playtime lot’s of fun!
Jookiedaddy, I’m dreadfully fond of you!

Jookiedaddy, girls or boys
Will be happy when you make noise!
Jookiedaddy, you watch everything I do!

Jookiedaddy, you are mine!
Kiss me at night when I’ve been fine!
Jookiedaddy, you make my dreams come true!

Jookiedaddy, you’re divine!
You tell me when I’m out of line!
Jookiedaddy, I’m dreadfully fond of
Getting treats when I’ve been delightful and
There’s no need for you to be so frightful and
Mean! Jookiedaddy…I
Love you!


Every day
When you watch me at play
You really don’t have much to say.
But, I tell ya
You can make me sad fella,
Or give me candy today!

My favorite phrase:

My favorite phrase: “Hey, what is going on??”

Gavin – 39; Honeydaddy – 24 (Now I’ve got an extra set of eyes watching you, Worm! )