Archives for posts with tag: California

I have recently had the opportunity to interview for a TV series that is going to be based on stay-at-home dads.  Since I have a burning desire to walk the red carpet and have people pay me to wear clothes, I decided to try out.  What the heck, right?  What’s the worst that could happen?  One problem is that Gavin may not want to be on TV.  At this age, he has no say.  (We vote on things all the time, but he never asks any questions or says ‘Aye‘ or ‘Nay’.  So, 85% of the time, I win!)  How do I know what Worm wants?  Does he want everyone in the universe to see what he’s doing and how he’s growing up?  Does he want to be famous?

I thought about all of the great things that could happen if we were on TV:

  • My friends and family could watch us every single day on TV.
  • Gavin could become a reality TV star.
  • It would take my blog to another level.
  • I could get paid for changing diapers and brushing baby teeth.  (Gavin would get paid in jujube’s and jellybeans.)
  • I could eventually have my own talk show!
Then, I thought about all of the bad things that could happen if I was on TV:
  • My friends and family could watch me every single day on TV.
  • I wouldn’t be able to see myself on TV because I don’t have cable.
  • We would have to watch everything we say and do in public.
  • We could get negative press from the media.
  • We could be stalked by the paparazzi.
  • We could end up like the Kardashians.

Things I learned that day:

  • It takes 4 hours to get to L.A. (from San Diego) on a weekday morning.
  • It takes 1 hr and 50 minutes to get home from L.A. (to San Diego) on a weekday at lunch time.
  • I can’t drive more than 2 hours without having to pee.
  • 50 minutes of my camera interview will be condensed into 2-3 minutes.  Therefore, 95% of what I say is worthless.  (Have they been talking to my wife?)
  • There’s a lot of if’s in show business.

Stay tuned.  If I know something, you’ll know something.  If you’ve got any thoughts, feel free to comment!

We’re Just a Couple of Character Actors!!!

It’s Groundhog day!  And guess what else?  Gavin turned 10 months old today!  In the new custom of weather prediction California style, Gabrielino Gavin (Gabrielino was the only G named Indian Tribe in California…Come on, I had no other choice!) is going to tell us if we will be enduring 6 more weeks of frigid 60° temperatures.

We’re too far away for Pennsylvania to even think about Punxsutawney Phil.  And we don’t get any ice here other than the nice crescent-shaped ones found in our freezers.  So, I’ve taken the liberty of modifying the old groundhog weather device and replaced it with its west coast equivalent, Gabrielino Gavin!

Similarities between Phil and Gavin:

  1. Both walk on all fours
  2. Both have hair on their heads
  3. Both have two sharp front teeth
  4. Both have claws and scratch the crap out of your neck repeatedly, even if you scream in pain (Sorry, I’m just venting.)
  5. Both eat fruit, leaves, grass, dirt and insects

From the “town of the sandflies” to the “town of sand-als”, Gabrielino Gavin has seen his shadow on this very morning of February 2, 2012.

Winter will be upon us for 6 more weeks.  One should bundle up in a long-sleeved shirt or grow a mustache to stay warm in Southern California for a wee bit longer.  (Maybe think about wearing long pants too, if you own any.)

750 mm by 1050 mm (30 in by 42 in) Preferentia...

Image via Wikipedia

Forget what I said in an earlier post about losing 30 minutes of my life.  I wasn’t in my right mind.  Today, Tebow shines on my brain and blesses me with a stroke of genius!

I’m driving along and I see the usual signs on the local freeway:  merging traffic, exit only, carpool – 2 or more…wait, 2 or more?  I’ve got two or more in the car.  In fact, I’ve got three in the car at the moment!  Me, Gavin and Duncan = 3!  I can’t believe it!  I’m 2 or more!  I’m 2 or more!  The sign doesn’t say anything about the description of 2 or more, just 2 or more!  The pint-sized progeny finally has a purpose.

Wow!  So, now I’m entitled (well, aren’t all Californians entitled?) to a new entitlement!  I can use the carpool lane!

I see myself saving minutes of freeway driving every week now.  Added up over the course of a few months, I may save enough time to go for a good mountain biking excursion!

All I need is to do is bring the baby wherever I go.  Rush hour traffic?  No problem.  Put the baby in the car.  Morning traffic?  No problem.  Put the baby in the car!  (What else has he got to do?  Nothing!  He’s a baby!)  Minutes saved from traffic will become hours and hours will become days!  This baby isn’t a time vortex anymore, he’s a time machine!

I finally understand why having kids is so rewarding.  Thank you, Tebow!  Hallelujah!

Gavin is the gift that keeps on giving…on the freeway!

Gavin – 5; Dad – 3

There’s a knock at the front door.  Duncan starts to bark his head off.  I’m in the middle of getting dressed.  So, naturally I ask Gavin to answer the front door.  But the Worm gives me that faraway look as if we don’t speak the same language.  Even if he knew what I was saying, he’s still too short to reach the knob.  Useless…but adorably so!

Thinking it could be Ed McMahon with Publisher’s Clearing House, I race to the front door half-naked (or half-dressed, depending on how you look at it) and expect to see a large check and balloons in my face.  But all I got was an old man.  No Ed.  No check.  No million dollars.

Does this lollipop make me look younger?

As if he plucked my cherries right off their tree, he muttered “Hi there.  Is your mom or dad home?”

Immediately, I wonder if this guy is serious.  I look him dead in the eyes for a hint of sarcasm.  Nada.  To make matters worse, the most mature thing I could retort was “What?”

“Are your parents home?”

Holy s#!t.  He’s for real.  (It’s California, people.  So, I give him the benefit of the doubt and  assume he’s just smoked a blunt for his cataracts or high blood pressure.)

“No, my mommy’s not home.  Sorry.”  I close the door and don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

So I turn towards the hallway mirror, reassuringly pat myself on the back and say to the incredibly dashing and handsome creature before me “I’m grown!  I may have the body of a prepubescent teenager, but I have underarm hair, nose hair, and even some curly ear hair!  I ooze manliness and maturity!”

Then I dust off the guns, cock them both back and hit another incredible double biceps flex in the mirror.  “Yeah, I’m a MAN dammit.  No mistake about it.  That old guy must have been blind.”

So, I’ve been daddy blogging for the past week and a half and I realized something.  I am not the first to daddy blog about being a first time dad.  So I’ve got no choice but to follow the excellent path set by those daddyblogs before me.  Sort of.  Some of the daddy blogs are pretty funny, like Busy Dad Blog and Cry It Out.  Other daddy blogs are useful, like Stay At Stove Dad and Frugal Dad.  With my daddy blog, I hope to bring the most interesting stay-at-home dad perspective ever.  I want the best daddy blog in the universe.  I want to be the funniest dad blog, the most useful daddy blog, the most groundbreaking dad blog, the best written daddy blog.  Yeah, all of that.  I want to be the Jay-Z of daddy bloggers!  With my incredibly limited vocabulary and extensive use of parentheses (even when it’s unnecessary), I will excite you, tease you and make you cry like a sublime S&M relationship.  And hopefully keep you coming back for more!

Even if you don’t learn anything whatsoever on my hip, new daddy blog, I hope that you will enjoy the ride as we raise a kid in the good ol’ U S of A!

If there are any products that you would like me to review pertaining baby stuff or daddy stuff or baby daddy stuff, please let me know.  I’d be happy to test out new products in my own home and give my honest opinion using the accurate Worm rating algorithm we’ve developed solely for this purpose.

If there is anything you wish for me to write about, including pregnancy pain from a man’s point of view, labor and how I narrowly escaped it, spanking someone else’s parents kids, etc., just let me know.  I’d be happy to give my inappropriate opinion since that’s what we do in California.

Did I do enough to entice the search engines you?  I love money comments.

One day, I hope to be in the Top 50 Daddy Blogs!

English: A honeycrisp apple from an organic fo...

Image via Wikipedia

We have all heard about the organic debate, right?  There’s a hefty premium on organic produce and the jury is still out on whether or not the non-organic produce grown is dangerous.  For me, I like to err on the side of caution and common sense.  The industrialization of food in America has brought more food to our tables at a lower cost.  Yes, that’s great.  But, I believe that the quality of the fruits and vegetables has spiraled downward.

I discovered what real organic farm grown fruits tasted like a few years back while Steph and I were on a road trip.  We happened to stop off at a fruit stand in the middle of nowhere California.  We parked next to the sign “Fresh Strawberries” and got out to take a look.  The strawberries were nowhere near the size that you typically see at the supermarket.  They weren’t perfect looking either.  Let’s just say that you can’t judge a book by its cover.  As I bit into the strawberry, I was blown away by the taste.  Wow, I had never in my life tasted a strawberry that flavorful before!

Industrialized farming and genetic modification of foods has to have a downside, right?  If you don’t believe this, then you’re kidding yourself.  Our American culture appeals to the idea that bigger is better and more is definitely better.  In order to yield more edible substance per acre of land, we’ve got to fertilize the soil.  Do you think that the perfect amount of fertilizer is used to grow plants?  Did you read the part I just wrote 3 sentences back?  The excess fertilizer ends up in our water source.  So, we’re drinking it.  (But, that’s for a different blog post.)  How else do you increase the yield of fruits and vegetables?  Kill the bugs that are eating our produce.  Enter pesticides.  Now here’s where the apples come in.

Non-organic apples (I won’t use the word conventional because that exemplifies that it is the normal standard.  What industrialized food does to everything around us is abnormally standard) are loaded with pesticides.  Why? Because growers are trying to kill 40 different types of insects, diseases, fungi, etc. that attack the bark, leaves, roots, and fruit of the apple tree.  There are other reasons for the high amount of pesticides in apples and that relates to the process of growing, harvesting, and storing.  But, it’s too much to go into here…and if you’re still reading this, you’ve got a great attention span!

So, what I’m saying is that many of us parents are giving our children apples to eat in different forms.  (Don’t forget about apple juice and apple sauce, and apple pie, and candy apples, and…)  Apple is a typical food that is introduced during the solid food stage.   Many of us introduce it early and use it often.  In our house, we are lucky enough to afford to purchase a few organic fruits and veggies (Thanks Steph for working hard!) and make sure that our baby is getting the best nutrition we can manage during his growing years.  (When he’s a college kid, I’m sure he’ll eat a boatload of chemically laden manufactured foods…but he will make that decision for himself.)


Don’t believe for a second that everyone else is looking out for your interest.  Being an informed consumer is always in you and your family’s best interest! (Is that even a sentence?  You know what I mean!)


Just one of the many articles talking about pesticides and produce.

You can see how many pesticides are sprinkled into apples and some of the other foods we eat!  Yeah!

You can read about the USDA finding the greatest amount of pesticides in apples, celery, and strawberries.

These are the people that do some of the testing on our environment to make sure it’s safe for us to eat, sleep, and breathe.


So all of a sudden, I’ve got a sense of humor. That’s right. Steph thinks I’m funny now. (When did I ever stop?) I’m funny like we’ve just started dating funny. We’ve known each other over 6 years and I’ve seen thousands of rolled eyes and breathy sighs about my lack of seriousness. But, the new Steph laughs at everything I say. Everything. When I say “Honeybaby, I’m going to take out the trash.”, she giggles as if she’s hearing “Honeybaby, I’m buying you a Gucci handbag in cash.”  So now she finds me incredibly hot.

What a difference 5 days and a daddyblog makes. Let me tell you how it’s spiced up our love life. Okay, maybe I shouldn’t.

(Beer brings people together.  Shameless plug for what is one of the best breweries in San Diego: The Lost Abbey)

Do you hear fireworks?

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