Given the deterioration of the human race (due to television, I presume), the question above seems very plausible.  We watch way too much Kim and Kanye and too little Bill Nye, the Science Guy.

I guess this isn’t so much about Worm being smarter than a piece of iron than it is about the problem solving skills of his old man.  Occasionally, I’ve got to check to make sure my neurotransmitters are still firing (as my own dad used to say).  And I’m happy to report that there is still some brain activity!

Humans are problem solvers by nature.  It’s what got us to invent things like the SnuggieTM (the robe worn backwards), the Instant Arm Lift (clear duct tape for securing flabby arms in place), and The Backup (a gun rack that attaches to your mattress to shoot intruders quickly without you getting out of bed).  See what watching too much television nets you?

Our problem is that Worm is two years old.  He’s starting to put his eyes (and subsequently, hands) on everything.  And our two-year old is discovering problems that I just don’t see.  For example, when it’s hot as Hades inside the house, I open the front and back doors to let air circulate through.  Worm, thinking there could be a possible security breach, takes it upon himself to close all the doors and secure the perimeter.  We’re safe from the outside world…but left to bake our brains as the inside temps climb.  So, I turn on the ceiling fan to, you know, blow some air around the living room and maybe cool off a bit.  Worm is concerned that the fan may overheat on such a hot day and gleefully turns it off.  (Does Worm work for the city gas and electric company?)

In these situations, I could either chase him around until I overheat and faint, or I could lay on the couch and try to stay cool by nary lifting a finger.  I chose the latter.  And the latter worked for quite some time until one day it got to 93 degrees inside (yes, inside) the house and my brain cooked up an idea.  Literally.

Worm = 28lbs.  Dumbbells = 35lb.  The strength to weight ratio of a toddler is less than that of an adult.  I can lift my own bodyweight, but I’m pretty certain that Worm can’t yet lift his.  Hmm.  What if I blocked the doors open with the dumbbells?  Fresh breezes, cool air, and I won’t have to stick my head in the freezer to stay alive.  I gave it a shot and Worm proved my theory correct.


Pull Up Your Pants Worm! Crack Kills!


I Admire Your Creativity Here, Worm…


Worm, I Think Some of “The Crazies” Live in Our House…

This was so funny to me.  Even as I was dripping in sweat and dizzy from heat exhaustion, I managed to snap a few pics.  Worm’s face in the third pic is priceless.

Gavin – 25; Honeydaddy – 16 (I’m hot, baby!  But not as hot as I was earlier.  Wormie, one day you’ll be able to throw that dumbbell at my head, but until then, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!)