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A Kid Suspended For a Haircut? Again? Crew Cuts For Everyone!

May 17, 2012 //
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The problem with adults is that we place too much emphasis on stuff that doesn’t matter.  We’re free to dole out punishment against kids for a ridiculous number of things that have nothing to do with the big question “How does this affect my life?”

In the news today is an article about a young lad who is a basketball fan, Patrick Gonzalez.  Patrick is a huge fan of the Spurs’ Matt Bonner.  So much of a fan that he had a picture of his favorite NBA star Bonner shaved into his head.  (By the way, the picture is awesome!  Check it out here.)

Gonzalez faces an in-school suspension by Woodlake Hills Middle School in San Antonio, Texas, which he attends.

Matt Bonner himself chimed in on the controversy:  “Couldn’t you just move him to the back of the class?” said the red-headed 3-point shot ace. “Then nobody would see it; it wouldn’t be a distraction. Otherwise, the nicest thing a fan has ever done for me is ruined.”

So, obviously Bonner is touched with the gesture from a fellow redhead.

The part that bugs me is where the school decides that punishment for a haircut is worth taking away a child’s education for a week.  “It’s distracting.”  says unnamed foolish school official.  Oh yeah, you mean more distracting than the pregnant girls, drugs, and weapons that circulate through the halls.  Right!

But, don’t you think that making a big stink about a haircut is more distracting?  Maybe we should force every school-aged child to get a crew cut to attend classes.  There wouldn’t be any distractions then.  Right!

Just another day in America, where haircuts, pictures of girls kissing, and art are more dangerous than guns.

Original article:

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/shaving-picture-matt-bonner-head-could-net-young-013230150.html

Related articles:

http://tucsoncitizen.com/usa-today-sports/2012/05/17/student-in-trouble-over-matt-bonner-haircut/

http://offthebench.nbcsports.com/2012/05/17/middle-schooler-suspended-for-awesome-matt-bonner-haircut-bonner-himself-has-message-for-school/

http://www.foxsportssouthwest.com/05/17/12/Bonner-haircut-gets-Spurs-fan-in-trouble/landing_spurs.html?blockID=730808&feedID=3742

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One Million Moms Forcing Their Values On America…Again

April 20, 2012 //
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One Million Ignorant Moms is in the news again.  (Please don’t think that once you’re a mom that you are automatically inducted.  You have to love God and hate everything else to become a member.  I digress.)  This time they’ve got a problem with Urban Outfitters.  (UO is also great at making headlines.  See ‘Navajo Nation Sues Urban Outfitters‘ for one example.)  A few days ago, UO sent out their April 2012 catalog featuring their new line of clothing.  (If you’re reading my blog, you’re probably too old and unhip to wear their stuff.  Do people even say ‘hip’ anymore?)  On the second page of the catalog is *gasp* an image of two very nice pairs of shoes…attached to two very liplocked girls.

To prevent straight females everywhere from seeing this horrid act and subsequently catching “the gayness“, OMM is boycotting UO and telling their members to burn the catalog (along with any other non-Christian holy books they’ve got).  The members have been told to wash their eyes with soap and water in case they have seen the page (or in their terms, ‘filth’) in person.  (Don’t worry, seeing the ‘filth’ on the fancy interwebthing isn’t the same thing and does NOT require cleansing of the eyes.)  Confession stands have been open this week, 24 hours a day for all, including those that have even thought about the shameless Urban Outfitter image.

Apparently in our country, there are one million moms that are full of ignorance and hatred (powered by fear).  If OMM keeps fighting every clothing company that they have a problem with, they’ll soon be walking around naked.  And personally, I don’t want to see one million angry moms walking around in the buff burning things in effigy and castigating every living being (in the name of God).

The first thought that came to mind when I read the story was that OMM was probably backed by some radical fearful alienating Christian organization.  (They sounded so ignorant, it had to be related to blind religion.  Blind religion is not to be confused with real religion, where we are supposed to love and support each other regardless of different beliefs.)  So, I dug a little deeper and bingo.  I found it.  The American Family Association is the group that oversees OMM.  They’re an organization that will “communicate an outspoken, resolute, Christian voice throughout America.”  And their mission?  It’s to “inform, equip, and activate individuals to strengthen the moral foundations of American culture, and give aid to the church here and abroad in its task of fulfilling the Great Commission.”

I’ve got no problem with organized religion, just organized asininity.  (Yes, it’s a word.)  Couldn’t OMM spend more time worrying about teaching their own family values to themselves instead of pressing them on other people?  They should stop worrying about saving the rest of us.  We’re too busy trying to remove fear from our hearts and make the world a better place for EVERYBODY.

Anyhow, I asked One Million Dads (in my brain) how they felt about the UO image and here are the responses I got:

  • 56% – “I should have ordered two copies!”
  • 20% – “What does Urban mean?”
  • 18% – “Are you sure those aren’t boys with wigs?”
  • 5% – “Is it only women that can contract “the gayness” from seeing this picture, or can men get it too?”
  • 1% – “We don’t hate girls kissing girls.  We hate lesbians kissing lesbians.”

I’m thinking about starting a group called “I Really Don’t Think God Gives A Shit if Girls Kiss Girls As Long As They’re Not Killing Anyone”…anyone want to join?

If you catch "the gayness" from seeing this image, MVG is truly sorry.

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Are You Smarter Than This 4-Year Old?

April 16, 2012 //
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Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein (Photo credit: mansionwb) If you thought this was the 4-year old genius, Heidi Hankins, you're not a genius.

Probably not.  Maybe the name Heidi Hankins doesn’t ring a bell now.  Why?  Because she’s only 4 years old and hasn’t made her mark on the world yet.  But 20 years from now, her name may become synonymous with Einstein if she’s the one that solves the laws of the physics defying nanoparticles (or solve the riddle of one of man’s greatest mysteries, the female mind).

Heidi’s IQ is a whopping 159…supposedly 1 point less than Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and myself.  (Just checking to see if you were paying attention.)  She just joined MENSA.

This brings me to a hypothetical question.  What if this capacity for knowledge was bestowed upon my child?  A gift like this makes for an interesting perspective on child rearing.  Would I be smart enough to realize how smart my kid was?  Would I be able to exercise his mind to the extent that it would need to be, in order to maximize his abilities?  Challenging a child of that intellect would be, um, challenging.  And the problems that come with that ‘genius‘ moniker could destroy the person.

Imagine if everyone expects your kid to be the best at everything?  Imagine if everyone expects your kid to be the next Einstein?  What if your kid doesn’t want to be?  What if the world says that your child’s talents were wasted and denounces your parenting skills?  Those are the things society will probably think and say.  (This is a sad part of the idiocracy we live in.)  The societal pressure of expectation can be a difficult burden to bear.

Would I be happy if my child was a genius?  Yes.  Would I be happy if my child was normal?  Yes.  Would I be happy if my child was a kind, generous, loving human being?  Above anything else, yes.  In my eyes, his genius can take a backseat to this.

Some tidbits that you may find interesting:

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The Arcade that Caine Built…Out of Cardboard.

April 11, 2012 //
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I’m always looking for ways to inspire myself.  Now that I’ve got a little one, finding ways to inspire him is just as important to me.

With all the bad stuff that hits the news everyday about youths, drugs, violence, etc., it seems as though the news media spends more time showing us the evil in our society than it shows the good.  Today, they’ve tried to even up the score.

Below is an article that shares the creativity of a little 9-year old boy in Los Angeles.  He loves games so much, he decided to build his own arcade out of cardboard found around his dad’s auto parts shop.  He designed and built everything.  All that was left to do, was spread the word and get people into his cardboard arcade.  Then one serendipitous encounter with a very nice customer changed his life forever.

I hope you find this article as heartwarming and inspiring as I did.  It’s a testament to what a kid can do given a little imagination and a little time.  There’s also a 10-minute video that Caine’s first customer, Nirvan Mullick, made to help drum up some business for the little guy using technology and a powerful thing called a social network…Boy, did it work!

By the time I dropped $10 into Caine’s donation jar, he already had $96 Grand $105 Grand in there from many other generous, caring individuals.

If this doesn’t describe one of the greatest things about the human condition, I don’t know what else does.  Enjoy!

Original Articles

http://games.yahoo.com/blogs/unplugged/nine-old-cardboard-arcade-launches-college-fund-182844242.html

http://techland.time.com/2012/04/10/we-came-to-play-kids-self-built-cardboard-arcade-hits-the-big-time/

Caine’s Website

Caine’s Arcade (where you can donate to his college fund!)

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World’s Strongest Child

March 6, 2012 //
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Giuliano Stroe is the strongest 5-year old boy in the world.  He holds the world record for walking on his hands for 10 meters with a weight between his legs. Um, I can’t even walk on my hands for 10 inches before falling on my face.  In the article, it says that Stroe’s been working out at the gym since he was born!  (Boy, his dad really started him exercising early.)  I believe it.  I mean, Giuliano’s got a 6 pack that would make grown men cry…and he’s only been at it for 5 years!

Which brings me to review my lackadaisical attitude towards Gavin’s training.  I’m already 11 months behind and his Buddha belly is more doughboy than washboard.  Time for me to get to work.  To make up for lost time, I added some extra weight to the barbell for him.  If Stroe trains 2 hours a day, I’ll make let Worm train 3.

Dad, I Think I Strained Too Hard. Can You Check My Diaper?

You can see the current World’s Strongest 5-year old in the links below:

http://news.softpedia.com/news/5-Year-Old-Boy-Sets-New-Record-Becomes-World-s-Strongest-125417.shtml

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAUQmWtxMKA

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The 25 Words Every Redneck Toddler Needs to Know

February 23, 2012 //
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y'all - the magazine of southern people

y'all - the magazine of southern people (Photo credit: lacylouwho)

I was reading an article today about vocabulary terms kids should know by the time he/she hits the two year old mark.  Researchers use the two year mark as a starting point for the testing of developmental disorders, such as deafness, autism, dyslexia, etc.  Children at or near this age should understand words such as:  hi, bye, mommy, daddy, cat, dog, and so on (you can see the rest of the list through the link at the bottom).  If not, it could mean that your child could have some mental development issues or could just be your child is prepping for a life of professional athletic prowess.

I agree that some of the words from the list are important for a normal baby to recognize, but I spent a lot of my youth in the south where the language is, um, a bit different.  There is no way for southerners to compare their kids to the list presented by the Child Study Institute at Bryn Mawr College.  Therefore, I’ve made a list to handle the largest portion of non-English speaking Americans.  This is the first list of 25 words/terms that your 2-year-old country bumpkin should know.

So, I’ve compiled a list of the 25 words your budding redneck boy or gal should know along with a brief definition or english translation.  If your son or daughter cannot repeat/understand any of the words below, take the whiskey bottle away from your child for a few hours and try again.

  1. Maw – equivalent to mother.
  2. Paw – equivalent to father.
  3. Mamaw – equivalent to grandmother.
  4. Pappee – equivalent to grandfather.
  5. Bubba – term for brother.  Sometimes used as a term for any male.
  6. Sissy – term for sister.
  7. Cuddins – relatives.  Example:  It’s aright for cuddins to kiss.
  8. Yall – means you all.  Also, commonly used to refer to one person.
  9. Yous – the plural form of you.  More strongly directed form of Yall.
  10. Arraz – equivalent to ours.  Emphasis is on the 1st syllable.  Example:  When we marry arraz cuddins, we stay kin.
  11. Dem – equivalent to them or those.  Example:  Dem critters is still food.  Just wash dem up and toss dem in da oven.
  12. Warsh – to clean.  Example:  We warsh the baby same time as the dawg, once a month!
  13. Ignant – equivalent to ignorant.  Example:  Don’t be ignant!  Wrasslin is real!
  14. Sodeepop – carbonated beverage, such as Pepsi, Coke,or Cactus Juice
  15. Skeeter – equivalent to mosquito.  Example:  These dang skeeters is bitin’ me all up on my nayk.
  16. Aye-rab – any person of color.  Example:  Amerka has its first aye-rab prezdent, Obama.
  17. Larnin – education.  Example:  We gots to get sum larnin if we gonna geet jobs.
  18. Vittles – food.  Example:  Boy! Stop tossin’ them vittles at the dawg and eat’em up yur sef.
  19. Coon – equivalent to racoon.  Example:  We dun cawt us two coons for suppa!
  20. Raffle – gun or firearm.  Example:  I see coons!  Quick, gimme dat raffle!
  21. Fixin – term for “going to” or “getting ready to”.  Example:  I’m fixin to whoop dat skweelin baby!
  22. Treller – home or house.  Example:  My maw and paw live in separate trellers, but least dem’s in the same treller park!
  23. Winna – equivalent to window.  Example:  My camaro’s got natural a/c.  Just crack the winna and feel that cool air.
  24. Ricin – NASCAR.  Example:  Lemme git my lucky #3 hat on, cuz it’s car ricin weekend!
  25. Laff – equivalent to life.  Example:  The happiest 3 years of my laff wuz spent in 10th grade.
If you want to see what the original 25 words were, see here:
The 25 Words Every Toddler Needs To Know
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The Tebow Bill? It’s to Allow Home-Schooled Children to Participate in Local School Sports

February 10, 2012 //
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Tim Tebow Florida Field

Currently, there are 24 states that allow home-schooled children to play sports at their neighborhood schools.  This list includes: Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Louisiana, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Utah, Vermont, Washington state, and Wyoming. Vermont.  (Contact your state representative for further information.)

If your state is not on the list, you are homeschooling your child, and you expect to let him/her participate in secondary school athletics, you may have a battle on your hands.

The Tebow Bill, named after Tim Tebow, the UF football legend, will allow homeschooled children to play high school sports.  Obviously, using the name Tebow carries some weight as well as highlights his rise to football stardom in Florida, where he was homeschooled and allowed to play high school football.

The State of Virginia is the most recent state trying to pass this bill.

Opponents of the bill argue that home-schooled children don’t have the education level of a typical high school student.  (Really?  So, your high school football star who’s getting recruited by top colleges around the country can barely score in triple digits on the SAT’s and you think homeschooling is poor? Doesn’t this happen every year?)  There are also those that oppose this bill, because it will create a ‘recruiting’ type of atmosphere between homeschooled kids and local high schools.  (If you didn’t already know, that stuff already happens with normal high school students.)

On the other side of the coin, some taxes goes to supporting public schools.  So, even though you may home-school, you are still paying money towards a local high school.  So, shouldn’t your child be allowed to play sports with the other taxpaying students?  Or maybe all the homeschooled children’s taxes would go to a separate sports/activities program.  (Then the s#!t would hit the fan…)

Below are some of the articles outlining what is going on with the Tebow Bill.  If you know you are going to homeschool your child through secondary school, then you may want to start looking at your state’s legislature now.

You could be growing the next Tim Tebow in your very own house!  Wouldn’t the world be a better place if there were just a few more Tim Tebows?

The Tebow Bill

More Tebow Bill

Even More Tebow Bill

 

Sports Participation for Homeschoolers

 

 

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