10 Character Building and Motivational Phrases for Gavin

January 14, 2012 //
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Sean Connery at the 2008 Edinburgh Internation...

Image via Wikipedia

So, I’ve been checking out other blogs on how to be a good parent and get myself up to speed on the whole fatherhood thing.  From all of the information collected, I’ve compiled a short list of some of the things that I would tell the Worm if the situation calls for it.  It’s nice to build some solid social groundwork from early childhood.  Each statement resonates with truth and power.  (For me, when I say it in a Sean Connery accent, the words seem that much more powerful.  Try it.)

These are 10 very encouraging and motivational things I believe will prepare Gavin for the perils of real life.

  • LOVE – I love you a lot.  But when we have other kids, things may change.  So keep making old dad happy, ok?  You’re the oldest, so it IS possible for me to love you more than the rest of the kids.
  • ANGER – I know you may be angry at me right now, but I’m larger than you and can therefore be more angry.
  • SAD – When you’re sad, you make the whole family upset at you.  It’s ok to cry, but have respect for others and do it in your bedroom.
  • LISTENING – I hear what you are saying, but it doesn’t make as much sense as what I’m saying.
  • PERSISTENCE – I see that you spent a lot of time working that out.  But remember, smart people in India would have done it faster.
  • GIVING – I am glad to see that you gave your toy to that other kid.  It was the one that the dogs peed on, right?
  • FRUSTRATION – It’s good to see that you’re getting your frustration out.  Let me show you how to focus your frustration in a positive way.  Quick, get me some of your mom’s knick-knacks.
  • EMOTIONS – Don’t keep emotions inside of you.  They have a tendency to build up and later erupt when you least expect them to.  For an example of that, just look at how your mom is.
  • MISTAKES –  I know how bad you feel when you make mistakes, which is why I never make any.  Try to avoid mistakes by watching me do things.
  • HATE – Never tell people that you hate them unless you’re either leaving a job, breaking up a relationship, moving out of state, or dying.
Categories Education

The Veggie Wedgie

January 14, 2012 //
8

[WARNING:  Graphic Image Below.  If baby poop scares you, then don’t scroll down.  It’s worse than seeing baby seals getting clubbed.]

I know this is an odd place for this post, but hear me out. What I’m about to show you was once a tasty vegetable growing out of mother Earth. So, yes. It does belong here in the food category of my blog.

The veggie wedgie is probably the best baby poop ever to walk the earth. Or at least the best poop ever to be attached to your baby’s bum. It doesn’t stink obscenely, nor is it a mess to clean. It just peels right off and leaves practically no residue! Heck, sometimes you don’t even have to waste a wet wipe.  The baby’s wedgie is akin to that two-foot no-wipe chocolate cigar that you occasionally pinch off, pat yourself on the back for, want to show your friends, and say goodbye to before flushing down the toilet. (You know what I mean.) If Gavin was old enough to understand, he would be proud. But, since something this magnitude can always be appreciated by a friend or close relative, I’ll be proud for him…and I’ll take a photo to show him later.

The veggie wedgie can be made from many different types of vegetables. (Gavin’s lucky to have a mom that makes most of his food fresh every week.) The wedgie staring you in the face is one such food combination.  Well, it probably has a little yogurt and rice cereal sprinkled in there too.  The wedgie is pressure-formed and heat-shaped due to that very hairy crack that God placed at the top of our legs for us to scratch.  (No not that crack, the other one.)

Now, that I think about it, you are probably wondering why I’m so excited about this. Well, I’m an acupuncturist and I talk about poop with all my patients.  Proper digestive system function is extremely important for overall body health.  Poor gastrointestinal flora can lead to all sorts of systemic issues, most visibly skin problems.  So, to bring this blog out of the gutter I leave you with some basic info on baby poop (Aren’t you tired of seeing the word poop yet?)

  • Baby poops while breastfeeding should not be terribly odoriferous.  They should also be liquid-like with possible small chunks.  They can also come in pastel colors.  If it’s red poop or blood-stained for more than one or two bowel movements, you should notify your pediatrician.  (But if you fed the baby beets a day or two before, it is likely his/her poops could be red.)
  • If your baby is formula fed as an infant, his/her stools will be more stinky and more formed.
  • In the early months, breastfed babies are typically leaner than formula fed babies.
  • Generally, when baby starts staring at you eating food or trying to grab food from you, he/she is probably getting ready to start eating solid foods.  Gavin started eating solids at 6 months old.
  • Solid foods usually bring solid poops.  Obviously, there is some transition for baby’s gastrointestinal system to prepare for digestion of solid foods.
  • Make a habit of using your five senses to monitor your baby’s stools, and consequently his/her digestive health.  Well, maybe use only 4 out of the 5 senses.  You pick which 4.

Don't be afraid! It's only vegetables...sort of.

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Categories Food

Moving Violation On the Couch

January 14, 2012 //
0

You figure it out...and yes that is leopard print carpet.

So, I don’t want us to get off on the wrong foot here. I mean, I’m a good dad. I’ve got a clean record with the police station. Sort of. It’s just that every now and then, I get distracted. (Once again Steph, you’re right…) I disappeared from the living room for a split second and I may have missed the youngest acrobatic trick ever performed. I’m perplexed and still wondering how it happened.

The Worm is only 9.35 months old. He just started crawling this past Christmas day as a gift to us! Yes, I know…so cute and adorable as long as you’ve got a leash securing him safely to a post. Managing Gavin used to be a piece of cake, you know. Just lay him down to drink his milk and I go play on the computer for 30 minutes. Of course, I would always keep my ears peeled for that air-sucking noise from the empty bottle and return to find all’s well and baby is satiated.

Ok, so knowing (or still believing) that the Worm can’t get off the couch, I follow my couch feeding routine. Stuff Gavin between couch cushions (every dad knows this trick) with a bottle and let him go to town. I leave towards the kitchen for literally 2 seconds (or a couple more, but hey, who’s counting?) and I hear a little THUD. I go back to the living room and see the Worm on all fours smiling up at me from the ground. The milk bottle is still on the couch nicely tucked between the cushions which previously held a little body.

Now, mind you…the kid can barely stand on his own two feet, let alone jump from the couch. He just started crawling a couple weeks ago! So, I had to exercise my brain a bit to figure this one out. Using my engineering mind, I realized that the spacing between the couch and the coffee table is about 18 inches. He obviously didn’t hit the coffee table on his way down. Also, there is enough altitude between the couch and the ground (about 20 inches) for Gavin to complete the 540 degree somersault necessary to stick the landing. As long as he tucked his limbs in properly. Which of course, he must have.

Bela Karolyi, if you’re reading this, I think we have found the next Paul Hamm.

Gavin – 2; Dad – 0

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Categories Play

Hit the ground running…or crawling

January 13, 2012 //
0

Training for Mixed Martial Arts, I guess.

I’m new to daddyblogging as well as fatherhood.  I’m 9.35 months into being responsible for another living human and I’m still not sure I love it.  I mean, I love Gavin (aka “The Worm”, aka GX, aka Bubba) like I love my old Land Cruiser.  But, things are different now.  Way different.

I used to have a career.  I mean I was using my brain on many different levels at some point.  Thinking of complex things like electrons, Ohm’s law, and microprocessors etc. was stimulating and brought some entertainment.  Since then, my intellect has devolved into being entertained by baby puke and “veggie wedgies”.

Since we aren’t ready for outside day care facilities just yet, I volunteered to put my career on slow-motion while taking on the easy task of baby management.  Or so I thought.

I take care of Gavin all week, so I should have enough time to mold him into the person I want him to be…ME!  I know it will take a few years, but when that happens, it will be much less of a struggle.  We will be like two identical peas in a pod.  So, until I fully replicate all of my smarts into his brain, we may hit a few snags along the way.

Through all the ups and downs and everything in between, I hope to capture some pretty great things about raising a baby.

Enjoy!

(And yes, we did hit the ground running yesterday…check out the bruise on the Worm’s face!)

Gavin – 1; Dad – 0

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