I’m a new dad.  Of course, you knew that.  So, there are things that I don’t know about babies.  (It’s hard even for me to believe.)  But, I’m learning.

For example, the other day I was changing Gavin’s pajamas.  As a normal routine, I check his body for cuts, scrapes, bruises, redness, rash, etc.  (I’m a medical professional.  It’s a habit.)  I also look at the color (or lack of color) of his skin.  And if you remember from some of my other posts, Gavin’s a little on the white side.  Ok, he’s a lot on the white side.  (For the first 7 months of his life, he had less melanin in his skin than my wife, Steph.)

Since then, Gavin’s gotten some coloration.  His skin is not as light as Steph’s anymore, but it’s definitely not the caramel cinnamon cocoa color of his old man.

Again, the other day I was checking out the Worm’s skin like normal and I was shocked to see that his areolas had darkened.  Now, it doesn’t freak me out or anything because it’s not like his nipples turned purple.  But, they’ve definitely changed color from a pinky pink to a browny pink.  (Ladies, you can translate that to whatever name I’m sure you already have in your color palette.  But, to keep things simple for the guys reading this, pinky pink and browny pink are extremely accurate descriptions.)

I’ve done searches online and I didn’t find anything about baby nipples changing color as they get older.  The only search results that come up for me are for mom’s areolas changing color during and/or after pregnancy.  And the other searches come up with nipple rings and other weird stuff like that. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

So, here I am stating to the world that I have the first documented internet webpage denoting that baby nipples can actually change color as they age.  For the record, Gavin was 9 and 1/2 months when this happened.  In return for sharing such said knowledge to the world, I proudly accept the new term for baby nipple pigmentation, Dylanobscuro.  (Obscuro means darkness in Latin, duh!)

So, if your baby begins to gain more pigmentation as he or she ages, it’s only the Dylanobscuro effect.  (Add it to your MS Word dictionary people!)

My explanation of why this is happening is because Steph and I have a mixed up baby.  Two different species races. We’re seeing different genes and characteristics manifesting at different periods of baby’s growth.  Pretty interesting.  It reminds me of the old saying “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”  (Come on, that movie was 18 years ago!  That’s old!)  And we’re not sure how the Worm is going to turn out.  But, if you are interested, stay tuned to Me vs. Gavin!

And I can’t show you his nipples because then you’d be looking at child pornography (only in America, right?).  So, to save you a trip to jail and to save me from having my website shut down, I leave you with the edited picture below.  It’s safe for you to view now.  It’s safe for America now.

Uh, Dad what are you doing?