I see that ignorance is still rampant, even way out here in the dirty south west.  Yoga is a practice that encourages physical body movements and stretching to help one gain health.  It’s also a practice that gets middle-aged men and women so sweaty and liberated that they feel the need to rehydrate with a half-caf mochaccino latte and show off their perspiration stains at the nearby Starbucks. Like the old adage ‘If you don’t use it, it will rot and fall off’ states, you want to begin exercising early enough to make it through your teenage years before all that’s left sitting in front of the Xbox are your eyes, ears, and thumbs.  Or so I thought.

In a very free-spirited coastal town a few miles north of ‘America’s Finest City’, is Encinitas, CA.  Known for its surfing (and recently, its surfing Madonna) and it’s “Woodie” Meet every year, it’s a pretty relaxed beach town.  Until now.  Parents are up in arms (but, not in the sun salutation pose) about yoga being taught in their child’s school a few times a week.  To them, it seems that getting schoolkids to stretch is bad enough, but to christen it “yoga” will deviate the pliable young minds against Christianity (America’s religion) towards evil Hinduism.  First it’s yoga, then in the blink of an eye the kids will be singing “…one nation, under Brahman, with liberty…” followed by break for a vindaloo lunch and gulab jamun dessert.

Parents with children at some of the Encinitas Union School District schools want this weird and “unconstitutional” thing (I’m assuming yoga here and not the other unconstitutional things that happen in schools) to be stopped before further damage occurs to their children’s bodies and minds.

So, I took it upon myself to do a little research.  I pulled out the original copy of the U.S. Constitution that I keep under my mattress and started reading.  After nodding off 4 times in my perusal, I found this:


Section 1
The right of citizens of the United States to practice yoga shall not be denied,
although too much stretching will be construed as treason, as well as 
blasphemy for the God we mention  on our printed currency. In
addition, yoga practitioners, who are thus deemed experts, may be deported
to India (on the taxpayers dollar), where the source of the demonic practice originated.
Section 2
Blah, blah, blah….

Worm, I Thought You Are Supposed to Be Smiling In That Yoga Pose?

The parents have a strong point about the yoga now.  I see that it can be unconstitutional.  Their lawsuit, which I’m sure will follow, will bring up Amendment 28.  But, the defense also has a good argument and can at least claim 4 things:

  1. The children have not been practicing yoga and are not experts, hence bypassing the deportation portion of the amendment.
  2. The children have not started wearing tee-shirts with “Om” symbol on it to school (which will be another stupid lawsuit to hit the news soon enough).
  3. The children have not been burning incense, as most devout yogis do.
  4. The children have not been meditating during the class, because they all fall asleep when the opportunity arises.

Some of the awesome quotes (and my commentary) of the articles below are:

“…the yoga poses serve as religious expression or a way to invite Hindu deities into the body…” – I would like to invite the Hindu deity with all of the arms into my body to help me get a handle (or three) on my phone, dirty dishes, vacuum cleaner, TV remote, and Worm at the same time.

“…It’s not just yoga; it’s the background of who’s teaching it and how they were brought in…” – Yep, you got it right parent!  The yoga teacher is criminal and has a background in that Eastern meditation stuff.  There’s no way in hell anyone should be mentally calm in the face of a group of screaming idiots.  There’s something unnatural and inhuman about that!  I’m sure you don’t want your poor child to succumb to mental and emotional stability.

“…It’s pretty difficult to do anything these days that doesn’t have some relationship to some religion…” – I agree with this statement.  I do my best to never let my flat palms touch together, like clapping…because it may send the wrong religious signal like “Look, I’m praying!  Now, I’m not praying.  Now, I’m praying again! Ok, now I’m not.  Clapping teases the god(s) and I couldn’t do that to them.  Especially on Sundays, when they are really watching my every action.”

I know the statistics say that people are getting smarter with every subsequent generation, but sometimes it’s just hard to see.  I just pray (in a non-denominational, non-religious way) that this foolishness won’t magnify to the point where I’d have to travel to India just to legally stretch out my limbs.

Related Articles:

Encinitas Union School Yoga Sees Backlash, Parents Call It Religious Indoctrination

Parents May Sue Over Yoga Lessons In Encinitas Schools

Parents Object to Yoga Classes in Schools

Parents May Sue Over Yoga Lessons in Public Schools