A few days ago, Gavin and I started swim lessons…and we were thrown into a pool full of sharks new moms. No jokes, barely a few smiles, and minimal conversation chilled the air. I felt like the proverbial fish out of water. I envisioned we’d all buddy up over latte half-cafs and pedicures and discuss our new post-partum bodies or something. Nope. Not happening. I barely got a ‘Hi’ from any of them.

After consorting with the over-emotional side of humankind (and getting the cold shoulder), I decided to check out the more easy-going side.  I signed up on Meetup to meet a few SAHDs (Stay-At-Home Dads) in my neighborhood.

I must say that I was pretty excited to get Worm around some testosterone.  There’s just a little bit more reality and a little less drama when it comes to hanging out with most men.  Also, I figured that the meet and greet would be good for Worm to balance out his aqua acrobatics with some terra firma tumbling.

The meetup was at the local playground.  We get there early and meet the dad running the whole show.  His boy was about the same age as Gavin.  Since his son was walking, I thought it would be great for Worm to take some pointers from a peer.  But, Worm wasn’t impressed.  He repeated the same behavior as he did in the pool, clinging to me like I was the best daddy on earth…or the last.

I spent 45 minutes trying to get him to relax enough to put his feet on the ground.  I brought his toys out and ran them through the sand, tossed the ball around, and played with the fixtures in the playground.  (In case you were wondering, I had a blast!)  Worm just watched with apprehension and partial disgust.

Then I had an idea.  I pried Worm’s hands from my body, plopped him in the swing, and ran away as fast as I could.  When I returned 3 hours later, he was still in the swing.  So, I snapped off a picture.

Swinging in the Park

Just kidding.  Here’s how the stats played out:

  • 45 minutes of staring at the playground
  • 5 minutes in the swing
  • 20 minutes of whining
  • 10 minutes with xylophone toy
  • 15 minutes of whining
  • 15 minutes of sandbox time

Then it was time to leave.

Overall, I would say that the park visit was a success.  I got a taste of what the other new dads were up to.  Worm got a taste of playground sand and recycled rubber tires.  It was a nice change from last week’s swimming lesson.

The only thing missing was beer.  That’s why the next meetup is at a kid-friendly pub.  (Come on, new dads + kids + beer = gigaloads of fun!  What could possibly go wrong?)

SAHM‘s eat your heart out.

Dad, wasn't it F = (M x a) where a = omega squared divided by r?