Archives for posts with tag: daddy blog

I work one day during the week.  Let me back up here.  I go play for one day a week at my office and I leave the “work” to a babysitter.  She takes the Worm all day and I get some much needed adult time.  During this glorious day, I carry on conversations with people other than myself!  I see clients and do adult things like speak in full sentences.  I look forward to it.  It’s a brief, but welcome respite from my SAHD duties.  (I just found out that there’s an acronym for me, Stay At Home Dad or SAHD).  In other words, getting a day at the office keeps me sane and able to handle the rest of my week, sort of like what coke does for Charlie Sheen.

Yesterday morning, Gavin was cranky.  Not happy with the rigors of baby life, he wouldn’t stop fussing.  (You know those mornings, right?)  So, I decided to get him over to the babysitter’s early, so that she could deal with him spend more face time with him.  I grabbed everything I needed for his day (car seat, diaper bag, food, formula, toys, stroller) and everything I needed for mine (kit, backpack, laptop, phone, treatment table, travel bin, lunch, tea).  The truck was packed and ready to go.  The only forgotten item was my brain.  Leaving the house was a blur for me.  I could only remember bits of it.  There’s no other valid reason for this except the baby mind meld.  (Has he been watching Star Trek re-runs late at night?)  In that clever Spock-like maneuver, Gavin jostled my mental acuity and I drove away from the house with the garage door open.  A brief moment of clarity made me realize it once I got on the freeway.  I panic and turn around to race home.  All I’m visualizing is a group of neighbors standing in front of my garage, mouths agape, and the Hoarders TV crew filming their next episode.  Luckily, as I approached the house there was no one there.  (What? Am I not good enough for Hoarders?)  I close the garage and leave again…for the second time.

At this point, I’ve lost 30 minutes of my life (actually, I don’t want that 30 minutes back.  Keep it.)  I head back to my original destination, the babysitter’s house.  Of course, once I get there, the babysitter is not home.  Her husband tells me that she’s at my house waiting for me.  Brilliant.  I drive back home and drop Gavin off with the babysitter.  (I probably threw him at her, but he deserved it.)  I leave the house again…for the third time.

After all the morning fracas is sorted and I show up late to work, I conveniently lock myself out on the back patio…Argh!  Blast this mind meld trick!  It’s still working on my brain!

Young grasshopper, you have learned the art of confusing your adversary.  You win again.

Gavin = 5; Dylan = 2

Don't worry, it won't happen again. I'm wearing protection. 😉

I’m a new dad.  Of course, you knew that.  So, there are things that I don’t know about babies.  (It’s hard even for me to believe.)  But, I’m learning.

For example, the other day I was changing Gavin’s pajamas.  As a normal routine, I check his body for cuts, scrapes, bruises, redness, rash, etc.  (I’m a medical professional.  It’s a habit.)  I also look at the color (or lack of color) of his skin.  And if you remember from some of my other posts, Gavin’s a little on the white side.  Ok, he’s a lot on the white side.  (For the first 7 months of his life, he had less melanin in his skin than my wife, Steph.)

Since then, Gavin’s gotten some coloration.  His skin is not as light as Steph’s anymore, but it’s definitely not the caramel cinnamon cocoa color of his old man.

Again, the other day I was checking out the Worm’s skin like normal and I was shocked to see that his areolas had darkened.  Now, it doesn’t freak me out or anything because it’s not like his nipples turned purple.  But, they’ve definitely changed color from a pinky pink to a browny pink.  (Ladies, you can translate that to whatever name I’m sure you already have in your color palette.  But, to keep things simple for the guys reading this, pinky pink and browny pink are extremely accurate descriptions.)

I’ve done searches online and I didn’t find anything about baby nipples changing color as they get older.  The only search results that come up for me are for mom’s areolas changing color during and/or after pregnancy.  And the other searches come up with nipple rings and other weird stuff like that. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

So, here I am stating to the world that I have the first documented internet webpage denoting that baby nipples can actually change color as they age.  For the record, Gavin was 9 and 1/2 months when this happened.  In return for sharing such said knowledge to the world, I proudly accept the new term for baby nipple pigmentation, Dylanobscuro.  (Obscuro means darkness in Latin, duh!)

So, if your baby begins to gain more pigmentation as he or she ages, it’s only the Dylanobscuro effect.  (Add it to your MS Word dictionary people!)

My explanation of why this is happening is because Steph and I have a mixed up baby.  Two different species races. We’re seeing different genes and characteristics manifesting at different periods of baby’s growth.  Pretty interesting.  It reminds me of the old saying “Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”  (Come on, that movie was 18 years ago!  That’s old!)  And we’re not sure how the Worm is going to turn out.  But, if you are interested, stay tuned to Me vs. Gavin!

And I can’t show you his nipples because then you’d be looking at child pornography (only in America, right?).  So, to save you a trip to jail and to save me from having my website shut down, I leave you with the edited picture below.  It’s safe for you to view now.  It’s safe for America now.

Uh, Dad what are you doing?

So, I’ve been daddy blogging for the past week and a half and I realized something.  I am not the first to daddy blog about being a first time dad.  So I’ve got no choice but to follow the excellent path set by those daddyblogs before me.  Sort of.  Some of the daddy blogs are pretty funny, like Busy Dad Blog and Cry It Out.  Other daddy blogs are useful, like Stay At Stove Dad and Frugal Dad.  With my daddy blog, I hope to bring the most interesting stay-at-home dad perspective ever.  I want the best daddy blog in the universe.  I want to be the funniest dad blog, the most useful daddy blog, the most groundbreaking dad blog, the best written daddy blog.  Yeah, all of that.  I want to be the Jay-Z of daddy bloggers!  With my incredibly limited vocabulary and extensive use of parentheses (even when it’s unnecessary), I will excite you, tease you and make you cry like a sublime S&M relationship.  And hopefully keep you coming back for more!

Even if you don’t learn anything whatsoever on my hip, new daddy blog, I hope that you will enjoy the ride as we raise a kid in the good ol’ U S of A!

If there are any products that you would like me to review pertaining baby stuff or daddy stuff or baby daddy stuff, please let me know.  I’d be happy to test out new products in my own home and give my honest opinion using the accurate Worm rating algorithm we’ve developed solely for this purpose.

If there is anything you wish for me to write about, including pregnancy pain from a man’s point of view, labor and how I narrowly escaped it, spanking someone else’s parents kids, etc., just let me know.  I’d be happy to give my inappropriate opinion since that’s what we do in California.

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www.mevsgavin.com

Did I do enough to entice the search engines you?  I love money comments.

One day, I hope to be in the Top 50 Daddy Blogs!