Archives for the month of: March, 2012
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I’ve Been Replaced…By My Own Mother!

March 20, 2012 //
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Before my mom came, I was the Worm’s go-to guy.  Every time I would walk in the room, it was like he was seeing Tebow (I’ve added an MVG glossary in case you don’t understand what I’m saying) parting the Red Sea.  Worm would run (ok, crawl) over to me as fast as he could and then touch my big toe, which is his way of saying “Pick me up, daddy!”  I would sweep him up into my arms and we would both laugh together while “The Lion King” theme song miraculously played in the background.

Now that my mom’s in her fourth week of visiting, my glitter is gone.  I walk into the room to see Worm and he doesn’t even turn his head.  If he does look up and happen to see me beaming at my only son, he dismisses me with his “You look familiar, but I’m not sure who you are” face.  So, I stand and watch my aloof son and lament that even at this young age, he is living the old phrase “out of sight, out of mind.”  Even more sad for me is that when we do interact, I am the one forcing the connection.

I exist as a human baby bib now, gladly wearing vomit, snot, and other juices (both of body and of fruit).  But, I’m eager to accept the role because it means he still finds me useful in some way.

It’s true that I’ve been spending less time with Worm.  I planned quite a few non-baby oriented tasks to take care of while Gavin’s grandma was here.  Fix car, work on business development, clean desk, organize garage, etc.  My BB uber-productive self returned and I had been excited to get some “work” done.  So, off I went every day tending to my own affairs.  And when I disappeared for hours, Grandma fed, changed, and played with the Worm.  Subsequently, I was erased me from the boy’s short term memory (Isn’t it all short-term memory for him?  I mean, he’s only been alive for 11 months!) and replaced by Grandma.

It’s hard for me not to be the almost center of Gavin’s world (right next to his purple spatula).

Worm With His Two Best Friends

But, his indifference towards me is a sour reminder that my “work” priorities are no longer priorities and some things have to be let go.  Family should come first unless you value your happiness, freedom, hygiene, quietude, personal space  is how the saying goes.  I need to rearrange my to-do list for fear of becoming a total stranger to Worm.

Worm, here I come!  I’m going to be in your face from morning to night!  I’m going to play with you until we both drop from exhaustion.  I’m going to be there all the time, even in your dreams!  I may even become the voice of your subconscious and your higher self!  We’re going to be best friends again even if  I have to stalk you like Duncan stalks me!  I promise!

Worm, thanks for reminding me that I can’t forget about the little people.  I guess I needed that.

Gavin – 9; Dad – 5

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Categories Random Thoughts

Top O’ The Morning To Ya!

March 17, 2012 //
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This is Gavin’s second St. Patrick’s Day!  Last year, at this time he was -1 month old for the St. Patty’s Day Parade.  His view of the parade was something akin to this:

A Worm's Eye View of St. Patty's Day Parade 2011

This year was the first time in recent memory that it rained (Albert Hammond lied. It does rain here.) on St. Patty’s Day.  The weather was chilly (in the 50’s) as well.  Let’s just say that Worm was probably wishing for warmth and coziness of the previous year.

 

 

He weathered the storm long enough to drink a Guinness and see a few leprechauns!

Want to see my lucky charms?

And when the water fell from the sky, we southern Californians thought it was a sign of the apocalypse…and ran for cover.  But, we couldn’t leave  without making Worm relive some of the fondness of the previous year’s parade.  So we stuffed the Worm in Daddy’s utero and he fell asleep.

Daddy, Your Womb is Almost as Cozy as Mommy's. Almost.

 

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

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Categories Play

Do We Really Need Helmets For This?

March 15, 2012 //
6

I always knew Gavin was a chip off the old block.  We’ve got quite a few things in common:  similar haircuts; similar builds; we both love Steph and mangos; both our first names end in ‘n’.  Now, we both like bikes!

I loved biking ever since I moved to southern California (SoCal).  I started seriously mountain biking after getting laid off from my first job.  I did some fairly aggressive mountain biking back then and at one time, I owned a bike that was worth much more than my car.  I biked a lot until I got Steph pregnant.  Then, my trail time disappeared.  I haven’t really ridden my bike since then.

But recently, I was brainstorming about how I was going to find some extra time to start cycling again.  I ran across some cool baby bike trailers in the bike section of Craigslist.  They looked like fun.  I would do all the pedaling and Worm would get to sit back and watch the cars go by.  So, I did my research and found that these baby bike trailers are not cheap.  Not wanting to spend top dollar for something I didn’t know Worm would like, I found a used one for a good price and picked it up.

Enter the Burley D’Lite 2006 Edition.

Dad, do you know what you're doing?

So, I hooked up the D’Lite to my mountain bike to see how it all looked.  Worm seemed to approve.  It’s just that I have about 15 extra screws and I don’t know where they go…

Next, I had to figure out how to adjust the seatbelts.  It only took about 10 minutes for me to realize the instructions were stitched to the Burley and staring me in the face.  So, I figured I may as well take a lookie loo.

This is going to take some getting used to...for both of us.

The careful, responsible father in me thought it would be a bad idea to hop on the bike and fly down the hill at 25 mph.  (Ok, it’s because grandma was watching and she would have killed me.)  So, I walked the bike for a few minutes to gauge Worm’s reaction.

 

Forget about helmets!  Let’s ride!

Cruisin' With the Wind in Our Hair!

(Ok, don’t be stupid.  Always wear a helmet when you ride a bike unless you’re interested in brain damage or death from head trauma.  The pictures shown here have been staged and altered to look as if I am riding.  I’ve photoshopped out the guy wires and parachute pack to make me look daring and dangerous!

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Categories Play

Duncan, The Love Stalker

March 13, 2012 //
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A certain dog in my house needs more affection (I’m talking about you, Duncan) than the other (like you Frodo, who probably wouldn’t even notice our absence if we dropped you off in the neighbor’s backyard for a few weeks).  Lack of affection and attention on the first dog results in things like counter surfing and pillow shredding.  Lack of affection and attention on the second dog results in his blissful happiness.

Ever since the baby arrived, the affection doled out onto the dogs has gone from steaks to scraps.

The pre-baby hierarchy of affection received (from the big fish to little fish) went like this:

The Totem Pole of Affection

And that worked out almost perfectly for Duncan.  Once we added Gavin to the mix, everything and everyone got pushed farther down and rearranged….

The new hierarchy looks like this:

Who's the King Now?

As you can see, the Worm gets most of the affection these days.  He averages about 4x the affection of any of the rest of us.  Is that a crime?  (Not for Worm!)  But the other members are getting restless in their ranks…you can see it on their faces!

Especially Duncan.

Duncan’s attitude has degraded.  He now tries to do everything he can to earn some attention from me.  He stares at me for hours now just hoping I make eye contact.  (He’ll do it to the point of falling asleep standing up.)  I could be walking around the house and wherever I turn, Duncan always seems to be standing in front of me.  He will sit and lick my leg obsessively like I’m a giant grape lollipop.  (I can’t help but feel uncomfortably weird after 30 minutes of licking and there’s no sign of quitting.)  Weimaraners are a needy breed, but this neediness is on a whole other level.  It’s escalated into “I want to bathe in your sweat” stalker level!

It’s creepy to be stalked from morning to night.  (But, A small part of me thinks it’s kind of cool to be so desirable to someone.)  I’ve got to find a way to spend more time with Duncan without neglecting the baby.  I just wish they had the same interests.  How easy would it be if I could just throw a frisbee to each of them in the yard, or let them each chase squirrels in the canyon?  (Wouldn’t that be awesome if I could train teach Worm to catch a frisbee in his mouth?)  If I don’t come up with something soon, Duncan’s going to kill me, stuff me, and shove me under his dog bed so that he doesn’t have to share me with anyone else and we can be together forever and ever and ever.

I hope it’s not too late.  I can already see the crazy in his eyes.

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Categories Random Thoughts

I Remember When Worm Could Sleep Anywhere…

March 9, 2012 //
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Especially on me!  Even though this pic was taken last summer, it feels like a decade ago.

Summertime Napping With Daddy!

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Categories GPOD

Uncle Faldo

March 9, 2012 //
3

Worm’s got an uncle in Florida. A nice uncle. An uncle that will bestow upon him all the latest gadgets and gizmos that his generation will fawn over.  I have a strong feeling that this uncle (let’s call him Faldo to protect his innocence, if he’s got any left) will be the go to guy when Worm wants something and mean Mommy and unreasonable Daddy won’t buy it.

Uncle Faldo loves his nephew from afar, which means he expresses his affection mainly in gifts.  At least for now, the Worm’s too young to understand where gifts come from.  But when he realizes that uncle Faldo has the power of a year-round St. Nick and can be reached instantly via phone rather than snail mail, trouble (for Steph and I) will surely come.  (I can just hear it now…”But Dad, all the cool kids at school got one!  You suck!  I want to go live with uncle Faldo!”)

Enter the first of Uncle Faldo’s generous presents…the VTech Alphabet Train.  It’s so big, it may need a parking space in the garage.

Chicks Dig a Nice Set of Wheels!

 

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Caged Like An Animal…The Introduction

March 8, 2012 //
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I’m no child psychology expert, but don’t let that deter you from believing anything I say.  Confining children helps them in later life.  It lets them learn about boundaries and barriers.  It teaches kids that the best way to encourage good behavior is to separate them from a negative environment.  (Isn’t that what prison does? Positive space = jail.  Negative space = world.)

Building barriers quells the human desire to see what is on the “other” side.  For example, let’s suppose we have a barrier (in this case, a liquor cabinet) protecting the parents’ best rums (such as Zacapa, Anniversario, Orinoco, Gosling’s Black Seal).  We  know that keeping the liquor inside the cabinet insures that the child will lose their curiosity about the liquor cabinet and not invite their friends over when you’re not home and partake in the spirits and then refill the bottles back to the marked lines with water.  It’s all because of the barrier between child and liquor.  So, in that same frame of mind,  we’ve got a baby cage barrier for Gavin!

He’s a curious little bugger and I am lazy can’t keep my eyes on him all the time.  With all of his mobility and sleight of hand, he catches me off guard.  And I’ve got to race over to wherever he is to save him from chewing up power cords, eating magazine covers, and throwing remote controls.  Plus, there are things in the living room that can seriously hurt him…like unpausing my PS3 game controller and pushing the buttons.  (Ok, that’s me hurting him.  But, the end result is the same. Pain!)

To keep prying fingers out of electrical sockets, mouse traps and open bleach containers, we hope the baby jail will prove to be a formidable obstacle.

Check it out!

Caged Animal Behavior - Pacing

Caged Animal Behavior - Feeling Threatened

Caged Animal Behavior - Attack Mode

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